Day One-hundred-and-twenty-two: The "word"

You'd think that picking a word for my Toastmasters meeting today would be easy for someone who used to read a dictionary for fun. In fact, I have received more than one dictionary as gifts. When I was much younger and reading a good bit of Shakespeare, I was always impressed by what I was told about him more than his actual writing, although I still enjoy his comedies. He is supposedly holds the record for an individual adding the most words to the English language. Since that time, I've always wanted to add words to the English language. Unfortunately, whenever I try to be like Shakespeare, I sound more like Bush.

Besides, individual additions to English aren't generally successful. Instead we are more likely to see cross cultural slang make it as new words. It's not my intention to "dis" any culture with this example. Besides, the oral start of these language extensions make it impossible to trace back to their individual origins.

I finally decided on vacillate. It seemed to be the most appropriate word to depict my lack of decision process to actually pick a word.

By the time I got up this morning, finished my exercises, went into the kitchen to fix breakfast, and cleaned up the kitchen so I could fix a hot breakfast, it was 10:30. So I had a grapefruit and some soy yogurt for breakfast. Then I got cleaned up and went out to get some Beano so I could eat lunch.

After my shower this morning, I noticed that I am still "squeegeeing" the shower walls. This was another of Marilyn's bathroom rules and is already one of my yet to be written topics for my Memories of Marilyn blog. I remember that one of my traveling pleasures was staying in hotels, and not having to scrape the water off the walls. Now that I could literally indulge in that pleasure every day, I am still doing so. It allows me to drip dry a little bit while I'm taking care of the walls and may really reduce hard water spotting. I certainly don't know what cleaner to use on the cultured marble in the shower I use most often. Well, there are still some days where I am too rushed to "squeegee," but they are very few in my Life after Layoff.

The wind has been blowing rather strongly all day. Under the willow tree it positively looks fall with all the leaves on the ground. Maybe my meditation is working. I look at those leaves now and see beauty where before I probably would have seen work. It's supposed to rain tonight and even more strongly Saturday night. I'll still need to water some plants tomorrow. I also needed to clean out the rain gutters but will not be doing so before this rain.

After the election, I've decided that I'm going to cancel my cable. This means that I will not have TV service, except for rented DVDs. Not only have they increased the cable cost, I'm watching far too much of it. Besides, I'll be gone for at least six weeks. I've gone without TV before, although it was years ago. Then I had a lot of company and didn't miss it at all. Now I may miss it but have too many other things I want to do to let it continue to control my Life after Layoff.

Day One-hundred-and-twenty-one: Third times the charge

Banks don't really know money, well, how to give it up. It took me three times and three days to finally get money transferred out of my account. If it weren't for the lousy interest they give me, I could think that their slowness outbound is beneficial to me. Instead, I know it is all for them, because of the lousy interest they give me.

I did the outside, sky chair meditation again today. Instead of the squirrel, today I just saw a partially eaten apple. It was a little brighter, not only because of the fogless, crisp, clear day, but also because the willow tree has lost even more leaves. Now, sitting in a sky chair, which hangs on one hook, means that typically I bob, swing and twist. When the sun is bright, like it was today, the movement of sky chair makes the sun a really bright blinking light. As I sit still, the chair slows down its motion and the blinks slow as well. Thank goodness the rest point doesn't face me into the sun.

While I enjoy it in the afternoon, I still think I like the night time better. The birds and squirrels may not be out but the contractors working on a neighboring house aren't either.

While I must admit to some bias, I was impressed with Barack Obama's half hour. Now for the long night of analysis. I really don't think that I will be able to stay awake that long. Besides, I still have to find my dictionaries to choose my Toastmaster word. I also have to stink up my front yard again to keep the deer from eating their favorite plant. (Liquid Fence's primary odiferous ingredient is rotten eggs.)

Well, another short entry, a blessing for the regular readers and the irregular writer. I can use every blessing I get in this Life after Layoff.

Day One-hundred-and-twenty: I need a title for today

There was nothing distinctive about what is now yesterday. I did "meditate" in my sky chair during the day while listening to both the "Opening" and "Deepening" meditation guides. I did see the squirrel again, right in the middle of my "meditation." It wasn't much of an interruption and was in its own way, fulfilling.

But other than that one nothing ran into another until the day, and a good portion of the night, was gone. Then rather than make this entry, I went to bed. Eating, TV, and Internet are consuming my Life after Layoff. I can't wait until November 5th. I do have some concern that the bad habits I've gotten into with my election addiction will be difficult to shake.

I should be able to completely shake them in my late November early December cross country trip but will be able to radically change my daily routine even sooner. I'm heading down to Southern California to visit with my oldest daughter. (She's not that old.)

I got my replacement jury duty notice. They accepted my postponement and I am now in jeopardy for February 2, 2009.

My Toastmaster material still hasn't arrived.

Day One-hundred-and-nineteen: Running on empty

I like multiple meaning titles. The direct reference is to my Prius being on its last fuel gauge bar for the last week, but then I've only used it to drive locally, including going to Safeway twice today. The indirect reference is, at least today, not having a lot to write about. Oh well, a short entry every once in a while may not be such a bad thing. The only real problem is that it gives me fewer chances to weave in my tag line of Life after Layoff, at least more cleverly.

Yesterday I bought some Indian eggplant and used it to make some Gerson Ratatouille this morning. It was good to have some hot food, but I found out that Indian eggplant has a skin between the Japanese/Chinese eggplant and the more traditional eggplant. Now the traditional eggplant I know to peel before I cook it. I now know the same about Indian eggplant, but I ate it tough skin and all. Better, I just won't buy Indian eggplant again.

I also made some Food for Life gingerbread that tasted so good I ended up eating about half of it. This batch was too moist both because I used a measuring cup that didn't have a 1 3/4 cup line so I approximated. Then I probably undercooked it. Undercooking a cake-like food that doesn't have any fat or egg isn't dangerous, it could be messy though. It was cooked enough that the whole wheat pastry flour was done. I obviously liked it.

In case this blog has other readers than my direct family, I copying an email I wrote yesterday about things that have been occurring after I normally write my daily entry.

I've transferred my meditation guides to my iPod. This has given me new possibilities and I've been taking advantage of them. Tonight and Friday night I sat in the sky chair in the dark, well, as dark as it gets in a town. (Back in a canyon in Pacifica, it is darker than it ever got on a Fremont cul-de-sac but we never set up the sky chairs in Fremont.)

Last night it got so late, I did it directly in bed. It probably helped me sleep better.

But the reason I was inspired to write this email this late was the two very different night time sky chair meditations. Friday night the sky was very clear and I could see stars through the branches of the willow tree. It was meditative just to watch them. The only problem was that I left just one house light on. It wasn't distracting enough to get up and turn it off but I learned my lesson.

Tonight the fog had rolled in but with the street lights on Ranier, the "back of the" house lights on Glacier it was still quite bright even though I did turn off all the lights in my house. This meant that I wasn't stumbling around in the dark. When I finally came in, which has consistently been after about 50 minutes, I noticed how bright my supposedly dark house was. It is amazing how many LEDs I have telling me the time, telling me the temperature of the wine. I suppose all of the AC adaptors' lights are LEDs as well. Then there is my modem and router. I don't have any need for the night lights that I no longer have plugged in, even on moonless nights like this one appears to be.

At the end of my meditating, if that is really what it can be called, I thought of another series of topics for my Memories of Marilyn: "Company trips and trips on companies." We really did get a lot of travel in. I can't begin to imagine what we would be doing now. I'm falling behind in my travel.

Day One-hundred-and-eighteen: Motorcycle riding

I was going to make some Gingerbread to take in for my calling for Obama but when I got up, I discovered that I was low on whole wheat pastry flour. Any excuse that avoids work is a good excuse. So, I decided to ride my motorcycle to San Carlos and the phone bank I call from.

I was a little low in gas so I stopped and filled my tank for $9.00. I guess I wasn't as low as I thought but I didn't want to run out. It may also have been that the price has dropped. While mine cost a little more, I did see gas for $3.179 a gallon on my ride, San Francisco Bay Peninsula. Demand for gas has gotten so low that OPEC is meeting to reduce production and prop up the price. It will be my luck that all of this will take effect just before I begin my cross-country road trip.

I didn't keep track of my calling statistics today except for total calls. I'm entered into a drawing for leftover Obama/Biden campaign stuff because I made over 100 calls. Today I called phone numbers in three states: Florida, Minnesota, and Nevada. I guess New Mexico is more solidly Obama country now.

On the way home I stopped in at Whole Foods both for dinner and very little shopping, well buying. I actually did some shopping, as in I looked at some things that I had no intention of buying, at least then. I looked at their flour brands and prices. I want to compare them to Safeway's. I couldn't buy it then both because of all the other stuff I was buying and its bulk and weight. I was riding my motorcycle after all.

When I got back near Pacifica, I was glad that I had put on my winter gloves and by the time I made it home was thinking how my chaps would have also been a good thing to be wearing. I do intend to use my motorcycle more, not only because it is fun to ride, but also to start slowing down my use of the Prius, where ever and when ever I can.

I'll probably be up later tonight because I couldn't resist and had a Peach Ooh-la-long Honest Tea with my dinner. It was the first time in a while that I have had caffeine, well other than the amount I put in my chocolate cupcakes. It's not like I need any more stimulus in my Life after Layoff.

No epiphanies today, or at least that I remember, which is why I'm back to writing about the more mundane activities. I did like the quote from the Honest Tea cap so much I brought the cap home. It says: "It's not so hard to get rich as it is to know when you have gotten rich." - Josh Billings.

I did talk to one person today that was voting for McCain because he didn't believe that the rich should be taxed more. He wasn't rich and would benefit from Obama's tax break for 95% of working Americans, as would "Joe the Plumber." Correcting the tax code to better balance the progressive taxation to pre G.W. Bush levels is not socialism. Since 1979 we have increased the burden of supporting the government by $600 billion onto the lower 80% of taxable incomes and reduced it by that much on the top 2%. The 1913 Income Tax form didn't even tax people making less than $500,000, in 1913 dollars. (It was only one page to boot.) While I am in favor of everyone owning a piece of paying for the cost of government, I do think the burden should be a little fairer. Someone, and it will have to be the people with money, needs to start paying on the $700,000 debt that every U.S. adult now owes because of the U.S. debt of $11,000,000,000,000. (I've added in the cost of the Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, AIG, and (partial) banking nationalizations, since the money is already spent and authorized.)

Day One-hundred-and-seventeen: More epiphanies

Well, I may have had more than one but I can remember at least one epiphany today. That one came when I was shaving. I noticed that I take the shaving cream can in my right hand and put the shaving cream in my left. Then I scrape it off my left hand with my right and apply it to my face. Of course I never scrape all of it off which means that my manipulation of the faucet handle can, and quite often does, put shaving cream on the handle. Now, I am strongly right handed but I had never even considered using my left hand to handle the can and put the shaving cream in my right directly.

This discovery, after years of shaving six days out of every seven, belies the fact that at one point in my work career I was a Business Process Re-engineering consultant. The whole principle of Business Process Re-engineering is to surface hidden assumptions, things that have been done so long in one way that no one ever questions it. The best thing about it was the video tape of several cartoons of the Roadrunner and Wyle Coyote. I would use one of them to shake people up. You have to admit that Wyle Coyote was an original thinker. Besides, my children really loved them. I think my youngest daughter has that tape now, if she hasn't thrown away all the ones she took when she and her husband helped me close down the storage unit. I don't have a video player and don't intend to get one.

I do have at least three yoga videos that I found when I got rid of some excess furniture. Now that I have a yoga mat, I'll get some yoga DVDs before I get a video player.

I also got my renewal notice for my AAA membership. This prompted me to call them and cancel Marilyn's no longer needed membership and save some money. There are a lot of things that still come to my house with her name on it. The things that don't matter, catalogs, online accounts such as Amazon.com, I may never change. I still use her more anonymous email address when I don't care to obviously declare who I am. This gives me three tiers of email addressing: my main account for true email corresponding, my bulk account, and then Marilyn's old account for junk and anonymity.

It does give me a lot of accounts and passwords to remember in my Life after Layoff. And I keep adding to them. At least I try to keep my passwords simple and not obvious as opposed to complex, impossible to remember, and not obvious.

I waited to write this entry until after I watched the Buckeyes play the Nittany Lions. While there were some moments I thought the outcome would be better, I would have been better served to have written this instead of watching. Oh well, at least one school out of the eleven in the Big Ten is still in the hunt for the BCS One vs. Two bowl game.

Day One-hundred-and-sixteen: Too much the same

Stay up too late; rest all day. Do the same thing; write the same entries. I've gotten myself in a rut. So, today I'm going to be writing more about my thoughts than my activities.

For example: As I was finally doing the dishes, because I went to make lunch and didn't have anything to cook in, I was noticing that it was amazing that I don't cut my fingers more from the way I do dishes. I normally load the bottom of the pan with all the utensils I'm going to wash, which includes all the knives. Since I use a Scotch-Brite Dobie, a sponge with a nylon net covering, to wash dishes, it creates a lot of suds. (Maybe I'm using too much soap. Oh well, as frequently as I wash dishes it shouldn't matter.) So, I proceeded to fish out the utensils, including several knives, once again without receiving a cut.

Then there was the rotary washing brush without the rotary washer to attach it to. (This will probably show up in a Memories of Marilyn topic at some point as well.) Ever since our Houston house, which had a rotary washer/sprayer, we have had a continuous supply of the brushes. I don't think Marilyn ever used the washer/sprayer, but she regularly used the brush, with her hand. We have had to buy replacement brushes over the years, the latest being a set of two when we moved to Pacifica, but they seem to last such a long time that unless I can't find the other one I should never have to buy another one. Now, I use it as well for things like garlic presses, the screens on my strainers, which also double as my flour sifters, and any rim or ridge that looks like there is something in a valley that my sponge can't get.

Arrgh! I have "flat surface syndrome." This condition was always disguised because Marilyn always got to the flat surfaces first, frequently infringing on my own. I can't begin to remember the number of times she would tell me to clean off the top of my dresser and when I did, fully half the stuff would be stuff that she had put there. Now I look around and I see far too many furniture tops, my dining table, sofa table, library bench, ..., with far too much stuff on them, mostly some form of paper. In addition to discipline, I need to get neater in my Life after Layoff.

And finally, I can't wait until November 5th. I admit to an election addiction. I bring up websites on my computer, cable news on my TV and look for something new, which comments on the blogs frequently are. Some postings get so many comments I can't read them all, they are added to faster than I can read them. Of course, much of the reading is worthless anyway as it is not political discourse but profanity laced hate. I don't read those once I recognize them for what they are, just as, if I am around the remote rather than just listening to the TV from some other place in the house, I switch channels when a strident idiot comes on one of the programs.

Day One-hundred-and-fifteen: Not so hot speaking

Well my personality and style assessments say I do better in one on one or small groups. While their responses were kind, I have to agree with the assessments. That being said, I'm glad this one is over. While I haven't received my Toastmaster's book yet, I am already thinking of my next speech, as in which of the millions of topics I could speak on do I want to speak on. The reason is I want to start working on it a little sooner. Maybe if I work on it a little longer I won't have such a dry mouth. At least I didn't have butterflies. I also didn't say everything and of what I did say I didn't say in the way I had written it. Some of it was perhaps better, but most was probably a little worse.

Of the two speakers, I did win best speaker. Next week I am the word person. This is a natural assignment for someone who used to read dictionaries for fun. I also used to read encyclopedias but I don't think that I got past A but I did read more of the other letters' entries, sometimes several pages, just not all the way through. I also have read the Bible cover to cover at least twice. Of course all through High School I read an average of two paperbacks a day. They were mostly short Science Fiction but some of them were a little more difficult, and took longer, like Dr. Zhivago, The Ghetto, Brothers Kazmarov, ... I never did read War and Peace and didn't read any Ayn Rand until college.

I make a much better reader than a writer and a much better writer than a speaker, but this Life after Layoff is all about extending myself.

And I'm certainly extending myself again tonight. I couldn't eat before I went to Toastmasters, so I was eating at 9:30 PM tonight and will probably be awake for more hours, at least until after "The Daily Show" and the "Colbert Report."

Day One-hundred-and-fourteen: Speeches

As a high school Senior I went to both Boys State and Youth in Government, from two different schools. I ran for Lieutenant Governor in both but was selected as such by Youth in Government. (Boys State was in the summer between my Junior and Senior year. Among other memories, I got a smallpox renewal that took so I couldn't go swimming and I shook Governor Rhodes' hand.) The reason I won in Youth in Government, aside from my opponents' supporters really not wanting to vote for each other making me the compromise candidate, was that we were supposed to be ready to speak on one of three topics. So, I wrote out and memorized three speeches.

As I am working to memorize the below, I can only think back to earlier memory feats, like the above, and think of how much easier it was then. I like exercising my mind much better with crossword puzzles and Sudoku than memorization, but then any mental exercise is good in this Life after Layoff.

Thank you Toastmaster ____________.

My fellow Toastmasters and honored guest(s),

I must admit to a little discomfort with the thought of talking about myself, particularly when, as one of your more recent members, I have missed your similar speeches.

However, in the next 30 minutes I will endeavor to tell you what I’ve done, where I’ve been, and how the numerous personality and style assessments I’ve taken depict me. At the end of this speech you should know me as well as I know myself. Don’t worry, those assessments I mentioned say that I am a “big picture” kind of person and tend to gloss over details, which should allow me to fit my remarks into about four minutes.

First, a little more “where” than “what.” I was born and raised in Ohio, raised all over Ohio. In point of fact, I went to ten different schools in my K through 12 grades. (This left me with a condition that I must apologize for; I have a mental block when it comes to easily remembering names. Please bear with me while I fully learn each of yours.)

To make up for all the schools I went to in K through 12, I earned both my Bachelors and Masters in the then new field of Computer Science from The Ohio State University. Staying at the same university wasn’t really to balance my numerous K through 12 schools but rather was because I got on this great research project as an undergrad, which just happened to pay for my grad school.

I met and married my wife while still in Columbus, Ohio, working at my second job after college. We immediately moved to Houston, Texas, because that is where I was offered a job when I was trying to get her to Phoenix. (It was in Houston that I originally joined Toastmasters. As a non-local I had an added difficulty counting “ahs.” “Ah” don’t think I'll have that problem in this club.) We spent 8 ½ years in Houston, during which time our new family expanded by three children, none of whom now admit to be Texans.

We next moved to Fremont, California, when the company I worked for moved me out to their headquarters in Silicon Valley. Just a little over two years ago, after over 19 years in Fremont, we moved our empty nest to Pacifica for the clean air and excellent weather.

Now for a little more “what” than “where.” I’ve spent most of my working life alternating between individual contributor and manager roles, all of which were somewhat in Information Technology. For the last five years, I have been a mid-level executive, the equivalent of a Technology Director for a division of Wells Fargo. Recently I jumped at an opportunity to be outplaced, and kept jumping for joy, until the stock market meltdown.

Now I’m still looking forward to my own business, early retirement, self-employment through writing, or all of the previous and more. I even have two blogs going. (If you didn’t catch it, I did not say I’m looking forward to finding a job. I have too many other things to do.) In fact, just after Thanksgiving I’m going on a six-week road trip to visit my and my wife’s families in Ohio and West Virginia. One of the special projects on the “back of my mind” combines motorcycle riding with a running travel joke my wife and I shared. It seemed that whenever we got on the road she would have to stop and go to the bathroom, which she always insisted be the best places, never a gas station. In her honor, I hope to write about a long motorcycle trip around Canada and the United States tentatively titled: “Whizzing Around North America.”

The biggest change in my life wasn’t my layoff, but the passing of my wife last December after she battled cancer for two and a half years. Her memorial fund, the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund, is why I’ve rejoined Toastmasters after so long of a gap.

Lest you think I’ve forgotten something I intended to say, I never really planned to talk about my various personality and style assessments, at least in this speech.

Instead let me close by saying I’m still on a journey of self-discovery. To this end I’ve been a vegan since last November and have recently started meditating. Some people make meditation a transcendental experience. I’m still shooting for a “trans-incidental” experience.

You still may not know me as well as you would like, but then I can say the same thing.

Thank you.

By the way, the woodpecker and hummingbird both came back while I was sitting in the backyard again. Should I be concerned that my willow tree is diseased?

Day One-hundred-and-thirteen: Intermittent tapping

I noticed that the temperature outside was three degrees warmer than inside so I jumped up to take advantage of it. I went out for one of my more pleasant rituals, sitting in my sky chair hung on the willow tree. I was well into my "trans-incidental" meditation when I noticed a tapping that sounded like it was right above me. I enjoyed it for a while then I heard the whirr of a hummingbird, also right above me. I couldn't resist and opened my eyes. Sure enough, there was a smallish red headed woodpecker with a hummingbird somewhat hovering around it. I watched for a while then went back to my meditation. The music of the birds, including other birds' voices continued for quite a while. Even without the meditation that experience would have been relaxing.

I'm glad I'm exercising more. I baked the whole wheat olive bread this morning and have already eaten about half of it. I did cut down on some of my other food consumption but calorie for calorie, not nearly enough.

I got a call from Chicago today. The Obama campaign has accepted my volunteering and gave me a choice of Colorado or Nevada. I was hoping for Ohio. Of the two, I chose Nevada. Now Nevada needs to call to fit me in. Since I'm going to be there anyway, I may see if I can get some gambling in.

Since I hadn't heard, I have made other plans, including Thursday night Toastmasters and a Halloween weekend trip to my oldest daughter's and son-in-law's house. Yes, this is the same weekend before the November 4th election day.

I also got an email reminding me of a laid off executive support group meeting occurring this Thursday. I guess I fit that description but I'm sure my non-employment objectives are different than any of the other attendees.

Except for overeating, and that was on truly good food, today was everything I predicted it would be yesterday, a truly great day in my Life after Layoff.

Day One-hundred-and-twelve: Relaxing is "cool"

After I made my Mango and Black Bean Salad, let it set for a few minutes while I finished up my exercises, after I ate some of it, and still later when I had to eat a large heirloom tomato I had just bought, I hung my sky chair and used a mind mapping technique to outline my Toastmaster speech coming up this Thursday. When I finished the outlining, I went inside and checked the temperature outside. It was 58. So I put a jacket over my sweatshirt, put on my winter hat with the ear flaps down, put on my warm cross-country skiing gloves, and went back out for some quiet time, more of my "trans-incidental" meditation.

Today relaxing was "cool" in more than one way. I was warm and did relax. It's great that I have the clothes that allow me to enjoy the outdoors regardless of temperature in this Life after Layoff. I'm going to have to find a few more layers of warm clothes for my impending road trip back to Ohio and West Virginia.

Then I came in, watched a little TV, ate a little more, made up a loaf of whole wheat olive bread for rising, and typed up my speech. I still haven't read it through for timing, nor have I edited it for improvement or time, which is in its own way an improvement. Shorter is better.

Somehow another whole day has gone by. While I'm not looking forward to bed, per se, I am looking forward to tomorrow. I have no particular reason to be doing so other than every day seems to be getting better. Based on my good feelings about today, tomorrow will be great.

Day One-hundred-and-eleven: There's a reason I don't like phones

I traveled to San Carlos again today to make calls for Obama. I made 135 calls in about three hours. Ninety-seven were to no avail as the phone wasn't answered. I have to admire the number of people in New Mexico who are out doing things on a Sunday afternoon, at least I hope that is the reason. I would hate to think that they feel that they are forced to ignore all phone calls and let their answering machines screen them because everyone is calling New Mexico, a battleground state.

Of the rest of the thirty-eight calls: twenty-five were other (wrong numbers, a couple McCain supporters, moved); six were Obama supporters, of which two were multiple and had already voted; five refused to tell me or mostly just hung up; and one was truly undecided.

The undecided and one of the McCain supporters did not know of Colin Powell's endorsement of Obama and seemed to be greatly impressed by that fact. I recommended that they catch the repeat of Meet the Press on MSNBC if they could do so at all.

From the calling list, I couldn't tell whether or not they were cell phones, but there were a few. I even got a couple call backs. From one of the call backs I was able to correct my not at home marking to an Obama supporter marking.

There were a number of young people there, and I mean truly young. It seems that there was a local high school civics class assignment to get involved in a campaign in some way. Some of them decided to call for Obama as their involvement. (I'm not in any position to know whether or not any one in the class joined McCain's or a local campaign.) Two of the callers were even younger, the children of another caller. I was impressed on two fronts, that at least the youngest had a cell phone and that they both were so articulate.

I had one name that I didn't have the slightest idea how to pronounce. I asked several people and didn't receive any suggestions. I decided to call anyway and ask for Mr. [last name] in the hopes that the name I couldn't pronounce was a male name. No one answered. Later one of the people I had asked for help showed me one of the names on her list. She won for impossible to pronounce.

In this calling exercise I made a personal discovery that will serve me well in my Life after Layoff, it's okay not to be perfect. It turns out that neither the Obama supporters or people who supported others noticed, but probably for different reasons.

This three hours of calling did not take up my whole day, but it has taken up my whole entry. The rest of my day is normal, including what I am about to do, take out the trash.

Day One-hundred-and-ten: Vegetable stew

This title is a direct reference to a vegetable stew I made for dinner. I had carrots. I had potatoes. I have fewer stalks of celery. I had a green pepper that I kept forgetting to put on my salads and used up the last of my lettuce for lunch. I may still have vegetable broth but I used a full container. I cleaned the vegetables, chopped them, and cooked them on low for at least an hour. After my first taste, I read the vegetable broth container and confirmed that in addition to being fat free it was also low sodium, with "no salt added." I didn't add much salt but I did add pepper. Even without onions and garlic, other than what was in the vegetable broth, it tasted fine.

However, this title is also a reference to the kind of day it was, a real mixture. First, I was in bed until almost 8:00 AM, for at least ten hours with a couple of short breaks. Then I did all my exercises rather leisurely, including only going about 2.5 kilometers in 13 minutes instead of the 2.7 or 2.8 I had been pushing my pace to in other days. To make up for it I did struggle to complete all 28 of my "perfect pushups," even if they weren't quite perfectly done.

This was followed by a domestic flurry of vacuuming and dusting. Now, I don't dust often enough to know the actual pace that dust accumulates but it seems that it accumulates faster when I have doors and windows open. It may be just a coincidence that I noticed the dust after I had opened them up for a few days previously because I don't notice any dust outside, unless I'm sneezing.

I also cleaned up the kitchen again. This included running the dishwasher twice. Unfortunately it was not for two loads of dishes. Rather, the soap dispenser failed to open. I checked to make sure and it did open the second time. It's an old dishwasher and it wouldn't kill me not to use it. I only recently started using it again when I stopped cleaning up the kitchen after each meal, or at least once a day. I definitely won't replace it until next summer or later.

I even sat outside for about an hour again. Whether what I'm doing is meditating or not, I don't know. But I am enjoying the quiet time.

This afternoon was so good, Ohio State won, that I forgot to retrieve my mail until well after dinner. I've been summoned for jury duty. What's more, Marilyn was as well. I've already addressed the envelope that "excuses" her but I had to improvise. There is nothing on the form for this situation. Since I had already cried today, I can even look on this with some humor. Maybe the meditation is working.

As for my summons, I've decided to postpone it until next year. I don't want anything to interfere with my first extensive road trip. As a first, it will probably be the most memorable in my Life after Layoff, certainly so if I have to start working again. But I'm still hoping that it will be the just first of many, which can only be the case if I don't work.

In the time before I was actually meditating, I had some truly great thoughts, some of which I remember. Of course, they were the ones that require I do something. Yet more tasks in my long list of things to do. Well, I'm not going to do any of them tonight. Tonight I'm going to see if I can sleep for at least eight hours. I think the key is going to bed early enough. Going to bed late, particularly after watching some late television didn't seem to work.

Day One-hundred-and-nine: Contemplating my navel

I've always associated "contemplation" with deep thoughts and in association with "navel" perhaps deep thoughts from meditation. This is not so in my use in the title. I'm really just misdirecting my potential readers' thoughts from what I've really done today, which is nothing. Since my brain has been active all day, I can always claim I'm thinking.

Indeed, I did think about my upcoming Toastmaster speech. I even read the write-up/directions. Well, since I was reminded yesterday from my review of some of the personality and style assessments I've taken over the years that I have a tendency to gloss over details, I scanned it. I will probably continue to think of it daily until the night before and the point where I no longer can procrastinate and finish it up. I hope I don't do what I did in college where I put off writing my papers until after midnight, which meant I was actually writing it on the day it was due. This was really bad one quarter in my freshman year with a paper due every week and a couple other papers due sporadically in other classes. Finally there was one week that I had two papers due on the same day. For these papers I planned ahead, actually beginning after midnight for two nights in a row. In fact, I was awake for almost 72 hours straight. This led to sleeping for 15 hours straight. I was both amazed and glad that I could sleep that long, I certainly can't now, but the consequences were that I missed all the meals that day of long sleep. I really thought missing food was the worst of the experience. It's an even greater leap to think that I'm now "contemplating" fasting.

I finally took that misdirected piece of mail to its rightful destination. I didn't check to see whether anyone was home but dropped it in the extra-wide garage door mail slot. I did stop and talk with someone who was working on his front yard. He was repairing mole damage with new sod. I thanked him for keeping his house and yard looking so nice. Where I dropped the mail off looked like a rental. Thank goodness it was further away. Since my lot is a flag lot and is set back from the street, the impact of how well other houses are maintained is lessened. Besides, I have my own maintenance issues.

I did pick some more dandelion blooms. Since I don't want to kill the clover that is also in my backyard, I need to go out and dig up as much of the roots as I can. They are persistent and keep producing blooms.

Day One-hundred-and-eight: Wow! What a moon!

Tonight was my second Pacifica Toastmaster Club meeting, although my first one as a member. I'm already scheduled, next week, for my first speech, the Ice Breaker. I need to read more about it but in general it is supposed to be about me.

This perpetuates a phenomenon that I've noticed in several other venues. When I was young, entering 11 different schools in K-12, everyone in the new school would know my name and I wouldn't know anyone. This developed into a problem for me that exists yet today, I have a problem remembering names, particularly of people I've just met. In fact, when I was in high school, people would walk by me and say "Hi [my name]" and I would respond "Hello, hello."

In the business venue, the use of email to manage projects has resulted in subsequent hires onto growing projects missing out on significant portions of project history that were sent out to a distribution list that couldn't have included them. This is why blogs are making inroads in Corporate America as well. This contributes to yet another phenomenon, which by writing this Life after Layoff blog I am contributing to: an inundation of information. There's just too much to read.

Speaking of Life after Layoff, I was really doubting that I would be able to fit in my tag line into every entry. I have put those doubts to bed. In fact, if you read my last two entries and now this one, I have managed to fit two tag lines into the entry.

Coming back from Toastmasters I saw this wonderful moon just after it came up. Not only was it an oval shape that I think is more interesting than even a full moon, particularly when it is at the exact point of having difficulty determining which side is being added to or dropped, but the atmospheric magnification while it was close to the horizon made it huge. It must be at least 2,000 miles in diameter. When I got to my house deeper in the canyon, I couldn't see it as it hadn't yet made it over the nearer hills.

But what it made me realize is that I am not getting out enough. Now, at a time I can take off and see an ocean sunset, I haven't. When Marilyn and I toured the Chabot Observatory, which included people making their own telescopes and I thought what a great hobby, I didn't. I've been too reserving, preserving my availability. Now that I've broken through that barrier with Toastmasters, even though I will be gone for up to six weeks, missing at least four meetings, I'm eager to see what other opportunities exist. I'll let you know in this blog what I decide to do.

Day One-hundred-and-seven: A squirrelly day

About 1:30 PM, I looked at the outdoor temperature. It was a balmy 75 degrees. I quickly did two things, I opened my house to the outside and hung the sky chair. Then I sat in it for an hour. Most of that time was with my eyes closed as I was trying to meditate.

There were a lot fewer noises, most appreciably the construction sounds were gone. It didn't start out that way. There were a couple male voices in my newly occupied neighbor's house's backyard. They weren't going to chase me away but they either stopped talking or left very quickly. About 40 minutes into it, I heard a strange "skritching" sound. I opened my eyes and was staring at a squirrel running along the top of the fence that runs between my and my neighbor's yard. It conveniently paused at the closest possible point to me then after a few seconds went on about its business.

Its business was to go into my neighbor's yard and pick up what looked to be an apple. Then it went further along the fence and climbed a tree in my yard to eat it on a branch, sufficiently out of my reach were I to try, of that tree. I had noticed portions of eaten apples in my yard before but didn't know which animal to blame. Now I do.

When we were buying this place, I told Marilyn that it was a "healing place." While circumstances did not allow her a physical healing, I know she always loved the backyard. Maybe it will be "healing" me. It didn't have a chance to do so until my Life after Layoff and just recently started to do so since that. I have enjoyed the peace that permeates the space.

I used up some more of the excess beer that visitors bought, brought in, and left. Yes, I made another loaf of beer bread. I have enough of that beer to make one more loaf. The problem is, I no longer have enough self-rising flour for another. So, my next loaf will need to be a mathematically calculated combination of self-rising flour, all purpose flour, baking powder and salt.

I should have gone for a walk this afternoon. The only piece of mail I didn't recycle before I brought it into the house, was not for this house. Hence, I should have walked it to the right house, 735 instead of 835, on my street. Since I didn't today, I'll try to remember tomorrow, after I get back from my out placement consultation. My "consultant" is to review my personality and style self-assessments.

I am INTP in Myers-Briggs MTBI speak.

I am Achiever, Learner, Focus, Futuristic, and Self-assurance in Strengths Finders.

I am an Intuitor / Senser normally and an Intuitor / Thinker under stress in I-Speak Your Language.

In a 20-page report on my Personal Style Inventory, I am:

More Optimistic and more Prefer Change in my Orientation to the Future;
More Work-Centered, extremely Flexible, balanced Emotionally between Reactive and Resilient, and more Intrinsically Motivated in my Personal Working Style;
More Introverted, more Assertive, balanced between Independent and Collaborative, more Straightforward, and more Customer-Focused in my Interpersonal Style; and
Extremely Participative, extremely Visionary, and balanced between Role Relations and Human Relations Orientation in my Management Style.

At one time these were insights, but now they are just words that may be more or less accurate. What I am now I am still discovering but I already know that I am confident in my abilities, in my mental balance, in my life. While I don't feel that I am any different than I was when I was working, my Life after Layoff has both brought it into better perspective and improved my personal awareness--of me.

Day One-hundred-and-six: "Tonsorialectomy"

The highlight of the day was probably waiting for my haircut. I arrived on time for my haircut but the shop was closed. It turned out that the owner has misplaced her schedule book and went to her house to look for it unsuccessfully. But I didn't know that at the time so I stretched my legs on the stairs. I did a little standup relaxation and when I found out how difficult it was to close my eyes and maintain my balance, I tried a little wall leaning relaxation. I looked at the paintings. I looked at the hills. I even stared at the fence that had just had some vine removed from it. I walked around a little bit, primarily to find a trash can to dispose of a bit of trash I had taken out of my car. I called her cell phone but didn't leave a message. I called her home phone, which my wife had in her phone's call list, now mine, with her name spelled wrong, but didn't leave a message. Finally I called her cell phone again to leave a message about rescheduling and she answered.

That's when I learned that she was at her house, which is just around the corner from mine, looking for her scheduler and would be there quickly. I did some more leaning, walking in the hall, and sure enough, she was right there. I had it cut shorter than the last time. It seemed to grow out to a length that bothered me too fast the last time. I don't mind getting it cut every month but don't want the last couple of weeks to be a bother.

Now all I have to contend with is the itchiness of all those microscopic hair particles that somehow always get down my shirt. It could be psychosomatic.

The next highlight was the arrival of my exercise equipment, which I will mostly use in non-exercising ways. I bought a step platform for sitting on the floor. From a different company I bought a foam yoga mat for sit ups and as a pad under my somewhat crossed legs while I'm sitting on the step platform doing my meditation. I can't wait to try them tonight.

Then finally, I got out my "Thumper" massage device. My upper arms and pecs are sore, almost too sore to "thump." Needless to say I have not done my "Perfect Pushups" today. While that may be the best way to get over the soreness fastest, I can't. I'm that sore.

It's been a good day. I look better. Except for the soreness, I feel better. And, I got both of my orders from two different Internet companies on the same day. I even got my Life after Layoff budget updated.

I also got some good mail, along with a rather large bill. The bill would have come anyway so the good mail was quite welcome. My only daughter-in-law sent a thank you card, which my son also signed. I also got an "immigration" packet from my daughter-in-law's grandparents on Corvallis. They live there and I have thought about doing so at some point in my Life after Layoff.

Day One-hundred-and-five: Great day missing pieces

When I went out to water the back yard, the warmth, the dryness, the sun, the perfectness of the day just struck me. I decided that it would be a great day to just sit out in the sky chair and enjoy. Then I spent the rest of the day looking for the pieces. I found the unopened sky chair. I found the cloth and rope portion of the opened sky chair, in my second more thorough looking in the garage. Then I spent the next two hours looking for the poles that look like various lengths of closet hanging rods. I finally found them in my second more thorough looking in the storage shed. I didn't shift too many things around before I found them in plain sight, up against the wooden lawn table.

After sticking the sticks in all the right places, by then the sun was a little lower and the day not quite as perfect but I enjoyed the time I spent out there. The planes, the construction, the children, the adult intervention, the cars, ... but also the birds, the bugs, the green, the flowers, ... It was a great time. It was also peaceful and quite the spot to meditate. I'm still, well, still. Today was a practically perfect Life after Layoff.

Speaking of "practically perfect," this is something to which I have aspired ever since I saw "Mary Poppins" when I was young. (It is also something I claimed to be to my young children and at least my oldest one believes it is in the genes. It is and I am.)

The rest of the day was more normal and less notable. I did do another self-assessment test. I've eaten plenty, which makes the Fasting Handbook, Dining on an Empty Bowl more attractive. I've read it once but haven't identified any fast that I should partake of. It has quite clear schedules of entry and exit, which means that I need to plan for it, particularly planning so none of my food spoils.

Day One-hundred-and-four: Vegan cupcakes that take over the world

Since I had some Vegan Fluffy Buttercream Frosting left over from a couple of weeks ago, I decided to make another double batch of vegan Basic Chocolate Cupcakes. This time I was smart and took the frosting out of the refrigerator to let it get to room temperature before I needed to frost. The frosting went a lot better.

So, I packed the car with 20 cupcakes, 14 of them "frosted," and drove to San Carlos. As I was turning on El Camino, I noticed the Street Fair and thought to myself, "I wonder what this is going to do to parking." Two or three large city blocks and several minutes later I found out. I had just given up finding a spot driving down the alley parallel to El Camino after the parking lot I had used previously was full. After all, I had already driven beyond the end of the street fair. So, I decided to go north of Holly to see if I could find some parking in that direction. I turned on to El Camino to do just that and there it was, a sign that read no parking 2 to 6, but there were a lot of spots and it was only 1:00. I parked and before I grabbed anything out of my car I walked back to take another look at the sign. When I read it more closely, it was 2 AM to 6 AM.

I grabbed the cupcakes, my journal, and my water, and crossed the busy El Camino without the benefit of a crosswalk. Once across I quickly recrossed to grab my cell phone. Then back across the street. After few steps down the sidewalk I was looking for the first flat place to sit something down, which occurred quickly when I knocked my Baja Fresh water cup over. It was full so a little water did seep out around the straw hole. I took this opportunity to put my heavy journal in my waistband and carried the cupcake containers in my left hand and my water glass in my right. Even the cupcakes got heavy by the time I got to the phone bank office. (I thought my "perfect pushup" exercises was giving me more upper body strength.)

The cupcakes were a hit and were gone by the time I left. I was greeted with "the vegan cupcake guy" when I walked in. A person asked for the recipe as I was walking out. I got halfway to my car and realized that I had left my journal. The walk was good. The weather was great.

The calling was so so. Out of 117 calls that I made, 92 were not home. Only one specifically said that they were voting for someone other than Obama, however, 12 refused to say. (The 12 also includes the people who hung up.) There were seven calls made to Obama supporting households. I learned later that a record number of 3,245 calls were made from that location today. There were a lot of people there. While most of them were younger than me, there were a surprising number that were truly young, but older than 18.

I talked with one Obama supporter who said that he has received over 20 phone calls. Even though I was one of them, and don't regret it, I'm glad that I don't live in a battleground state in my Life after Layoff.

On my way home I stopped in at Whole Foods. Among other things that are good for me, I bought some more Tortilla Chips, a flavored variety. This would ordinarily be bad news but I've already tried them. I guess they are edible but they aren't entirely to my taste. This means that I'm not in any rush to eat them, which is really good news.

I must like paper, blank paper. I just looked out over the table at which I am writing this and I count two leather bound journals, three pads of paper, a notebook calendar, and an address book.

Day One-hundred-and-three: Awake at night

I'm actually writing this at 5:03 AM, according to the clock on my MacBook, but I woke up almost two hours earlier. I read a bit and when I couldn't go back to sleep for my thoughts, I decided that I would be better served to write some of them down. I've chosen this forum.

My reading was escapist reading, on top of which from a book I had read before. It didn't add anything to my development and wasn't boring enough to put me back to sleep, if I could have gone to sleep anyway.

My wakefulness started with a dream, which was probably caused by the relatively late consumption of chips and salsa. At least the chips are gone now so I won't have that temptation for a while as this memory will keep me from buying more, for a while.

The dream that I no longer remember the details of was about Marilyn, which triggered the memory that is now indirectly keeping me awake. The problem is that I breathe through my nose when I sleep and crying fills up my nose.

The memory was of the time Marilyn told me she couldn't do Protocel. I had just come home from work and she was somewhat reclined on the green couch so I sat down across the room on our leather sofa bed, in its couch configuration. While she never stopped wanting to live, this was the first time she stopped trying. What makes me cry though is that I didn't jump up and go hold her. I instead tried to insulate myself from feeling, which makes me feel all the worse now. As I now recall, I was sleep deprived numb.

Protocel was to be consumed every six hours. Our chosen times were 2-8-2-8. My oldest daughter had found a multiple hour time which I used as an alarm clock for the 2:00 AM dosage, which may now be why I can't sleep now in greater than six hour increments, or last night in three. Marilyn had even talked with a cancer survivor who attributed it all to Protocel. I don't know that Protocel would have worked, but for it to have, it needed to have been taken before her body started shutting down.

On to other matters...

It's 38 degrees outside and 62 degrees inside. I've put on a sweatshirt but see that at some point I am going to have to start the furnace, or bake something. Since I have to clean up the kitchen anyway, I might as well get to that and bake something. This cold definitely puts off cleaning myself up. I'll do that after I exercise. At least that way I have the benefit of the Scandinavian sauna effect where I'm able to withstand the cold because my body is warmer. What passes for winter has come to Pacifica.

After writing the above, and cleaning the kitchen, I went back to bed for three hours. Then I got up and exercised, less vigorously, which still warmed me up. Speaking of warming up, it is now 68 degrees inside and out.

I watched Ohio State win a truly lackluster game. I was more alert when the people in the stands were on TV as I was trying to see someone I recognized. I didn't.

After last night I needed a day that was basically vegetative. To that end this day has been very successful. I just hope I don't have too many of these in my Life after Layoff. Still, I've also learned that I shouldn't try to write when I'm this tired.

Day One hundred and two: Why did I stop hyphenating?

I don't know why I stopped hyphenating my numbers but I should decide quickly which way I'm going to continue. If I decide to go back to hyphenating, I should edit all my titles. This is part of my "CDO" syndrome, OCD in the correct order, alphabetical. (No, I don't believe I have OCD, but maybe a little OCD would be better for a cleaner house. I've let my kitchen get stacked up again, along with the dining room table. At least the table is stacked with papers from mail, my webinars, and cards for thank you notes that I can't seem to get around to writing.)

Today I gave blood. Since it is much less convenient to do so from Pacifica requiring a drive rather than walking a couple blocks, this was the first time that I've given in my Life after Layoff. I have just a few more pints to reach the four gallon mark. I think the next mark of any distinction is five gallons. I don't recall where the one gallon key chain has gone. They were in critical need of AB- and O-, but they took my O+ blood anyway.

I also stopped in to see about getting my hair cut. I didn't but did get an appointment, which is much easier to schedule in this Life after Layoff.

Even though I am trying to keep most politics out of this blog, even to the point of keeping my own personal experiences low key, I must say how pleased I was to see the news that McCain has at last spoken out against the hateful and wrong, but hopefully only speech, that he and his running mate have incited. I also agree with most of the pundits, including Ed Rollins, that it is too little and too late for the McCain/Palin ticket.

Then there is "Troopergate."

Hey, this was the second day in a row that I made it out of the house. I liked it. Today I managed to do it without spending any money, except the cost of the gas, and that has fallen yet again.

Day One hundred and one: A "happening" day

Maybe it was because of the quiet Life after Layoff I've been leading but I now have joined a local Toastmasters Club. Even though I have talked a little bit on the phone for the webinars that I've been taking, primarily to answer the roll call, I've been trending to more silence. In fact, tonight was the first day since last Sunday that I've made it out of the house.

I also got my Absentee Ballot today. I immediately sat down, filled it in, and mailed it on my way to the Toastmasters meeting.

I see Toastmasters as a way to develop and practice my speech crafting much like this blog is writing practice. I'm hoping I'm using this practice already as I have started my Memories of Marilyn blog. I'm not sure when I will use the speaking practice, or really when I'll even get it. This club has two speakers a meeting. I don't know how many members they have but that could mean as few speaking times as once a month.

Now I'm not sure that my speaking ability will improve as much as would be ideal, since I decided to start from the beginning again. However, my secondary objective, perhaps even the primary objective is to meet fellow Pacificans. What with work and Marilyn's illness, I know very few people. Besides, "relationships" is one of my weak areas for a successful retirement. (It is probably a weakness for finding another job, if I were to do so, as well. Networking is big and I'm not a big networker.) Maybe this is why I'm interested in enhancing my writing skills.

After Toastmasters I went grocery shopping. Here it is only October 9th and I'm well on my way to being well over my monthly food budget. I really don't know what my budget should be but know I could spend less. At some point I will have to, not because I've run out of money, although that may also occur, but because I'll run out of room in my house and around my waist.

Day One hundred: Late and tired

It's amazing what a clean kitchen can inspire, dirtying it. After my blog entry for yesterday I wasn't tired enough to go to bed and get effective sleep, so I cleaned up the kitchen. When I got up this morning I was inspired. After my high fiber breakfast, oatmeal and All Bran, I made Mango Black Bean Salad. Then I mixed up some Almost No Knead whole wheat bread, which I just finished baking tonight. (Of course I had to try a slice while it was still warm. It was good.)

I attended the third in the series of four Retirement webinars. The main topics of this particular session was health and finances. I shared the name of the book that my youngest daughter recommended to me, Work Less, Live More, for the finance discussion. I shared the name of the book that my wife got me for health, Food for Life and a book that I just bought for myself to learn how to meditate, Opening to Meditation, for managing stress, although I haven't had any since my Life after Layoff started. As my investments keep sliding I may develop some though.

While I am learning stuff, the best part of a webinar is that I am taking them while sitting at my dining room table looking out over my back yard. Now the yard itself isn't that much to look at since I have not taken care to dead head, fertilize, and sometimes water the plants, but when I do water, I fill the bird bath. And it is the bird bath that is the focus of what I enjoy in the back yard. There are a lot of birds that use it and the ground around it. They use it at a time most days that I would have been unable to see them had I been working and even if home would probably not be sitting at the dining room table. Who would have thought that I would be bird watching in my Life after Layoff. (Now most people associate bird watching with bird identifying. I'm just enjoying their antics.)

Before it got too dark, I also stunk up my front yard again. I'm getting better. This time I only stunk up the front yard and not me. Not stinking will help my sleeping tonight, well this morning.

Day Ninety-nine: Debate bored

The new insights, if any, were too few and too far apart to keep what was being said from being too boring. Overall, I believe that Obama won again. Five of six analysts on CNN agreed. I'm now watching MSNBC and they aren't really saying. Their, MSNBC's, focus group appeared to give it to Obama as well.

As for other things today, I continue to make my bed and get cleaned up, although today I didn't clean up the kitchen other than filling and running the dishwasher. I spent most of the afternoon on the second Retirement Webinar and the homework that came from it. Some of the exercises don't allow my answers. Since I am now a vegan, I don't know how to answer a Yes/No question that asks whether I eat properly from the four food groups: meat, dairy, ...

Now, I'm not planning on not working. In fact my plans include doing so much that I won't have time to work for money. With the way the stock market is going, I may not have enough money and need to work. My head is spinning in this Life after Layoff, or would be if I weren't so confident that everything will work out fine. Maybe this is a result of my meditation.

I just realized that I didn't make it outdoors at all today. My only trip outdoors yesterday was to pick up my trash and recycling bins. I'm not trying to be a recluse. (If reclusiveness came with Howard Hughes' money...) Do Internet contacts count for anything? It does keep me from spending much money. Well, I have made purchases over the Internet. I can't wait for my meditation and exercise equipment to arrive.

Speaking of meditation, I still haven't had an experience quite as good as my very first time but maybe it is supposed to be more incremental. I'm still using the verbal guide, both for timing and whatever assistance it may provide. I will do so for a full week but I am looking forward to trying it on my own. I would like to find a quieter spot, at least from manmade noises. The last few times I've noticed my refrigerators starting and stopping. After we bought it we read that it was a noisy one. It's noisier when I accidentally turn on the non-attached to any water supply ice maker. I do have some trays for ice in the freezer but since I don't use ice, the cubes freeze dry. Adding water to rehydrate them doesn't restore them to their icy state.

Day Ninety-eight: Self improvement

For all I'm not doing, I'm improving most of all. Today was the first of four "retirement" webinars. It had homework. Since I was already at home, it was just work. Mostly it is common sense, which I guess is not all that common. I scored fairly well on the Retirement Success Profile in all areas but relationships. I couldn't score the questions about my interactions with my spouse high. So, I'm too alone and loneliness is not a positive retirement characteristic.

I also didn't score well on leisure activities. Even now, my 98th day after layoff, I don't really have that many leisure activities. Most of what I do is associated with purposeful, non-leisure, activities in my Life after Layoff. If they were for money they would be called work. Then there is a lot of housework, and I've already talked about my homework. But I am having more fun with this work.

In addition to the learning, I continue to work on other aspects of improving myself. It is a lot easier to get regular healthy exercise with my NordicTrack Skier in the middle of my living room. And while I may not be getting better at meditating, I am finding that time beneficial. In fact, I think I will do my evening meditating now.

Day Ninety-seven: Two dirty vehicles

A week ago a couple middle school students came to my door and sold me a car wash for this weekend. Since I hadn't yet washed the after wedding markings off my truck from my son's use of it after his wedding, I thought this is a great deal and an excuse to procrastinate washing it yet another week. Well, yesterday I was busy getting sun burned in a meadow in Golden Gate Park. Today I was calling voters in New Mexico and asking the ones I actually reached who they were supporting in this election. Tonight, I still have two dirty vehicles, well, three if you count my motorcycle.

The calling was great. The Obama supporters were always pleasant, even when my call was the fifth or so they had received. (There are a lot of other organizations calling: Unions, MoveOn.org, ..., even some Republican organizations.) I am quite glad that I don't live in a battleground state, but I would like my vote for Obama to count more. The fewer McCain supporters I reached were somewhat less pleasant. While I was calling I just chocked it up to my stating up front that "I was a volunteer for the Senator Obama campaign," but while I was driving home and thought back on it, I decided that even though there wasn't a conversation, after they said McCain I thanked them and hung up, they sounded more argumentative and guilty. Either way, they were not pleasant.

A couple phone calls had an IVR in front of reaching the actual person. This warned off solicitors. After checking, I finished the call. Political callers are not solicitors and our calls are protected as freedom of speech under the First Amendment. The one such phone response that actually had a live answerer ended up being a McCain supporter. I'm learning something each and every day in my Life after Layoff.

Of course I tried to learn something every day I worked also. Something I've learned over these ninety-seven days of layoff, is that I really enjoy not working. Now, if I can find something that pays money for activities that don't feel like work, I'll have it made.

I have a couple chores and one meditation session yet to do before I can head to bed. I did the session too late last night, after the opening skit on SNL, and was too tired to truly meditate, not that I know what truly meditating is just yet. Not only is meditation another thing that I'm learning, but it may be the one thing that allows me to take even a work path and keep the freedom I'm now enjoying.

I will write about my upcoming Toastmasters experience in my 101st blog entry.

Day Ninety-six: Guide for attending outdoor concerts

The guide is simple: do everything I didn't. I didn't take a ground cloth, even though it rained last night. I didn't apply any sunscreen. I didn't take or wear a hat. I didn't take any water. I didn't take my camera.

I did do some things right. I met up with my youngest daughter, her husband, and his father. (They had a ground cloth and water.)

What happened was I got a call earlier this week and again last night to determine whether or not I was interested in meeting them at the Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival. I was. So I got two calls this morning. One to tell me when they might be leaving Davis and the second when they were at the Bay Bridge. The second was around 11:30 AM. Since it was so close to lunch time, I went ahead and ate lunch before I left. Still, what with leaving everything at home, I was able to be there by 1:00 PM or so.

I was able to meet my daughter by exchanging text messages and phone calls. Then we listened to bluegrass music, well, mostly bluegrass music. One person seemed to be channeling Elvis. The best group for me was the last, Asleep At The Wheel. They played at least a half an hour beyond their scheduled end time. Since it was bluegrass, there was an emphasis on the grass portion of it. While not oppressive, it was omnipresent.

The best T-shirt I saw was the one on a woman with the slogan: "Help Prevent Unintended Presidencies."

The Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival is actually a birthday gift to himself by Warren Hellman, a 72 years young, hillbilly millionaire who pays for a five stage, three day, free concert in Golden Gate Park, now in its seventh year. A 100,000 people were supposed to attend the 2008 festival. I believe it.

When I got home, I quickly slathered on the Aloe Vera gel and sat down to write this.

I am looking forward to my meditation session tonight. While my session this morning wasn't as personally satisfying as my first ever session last night, I was mellow all day, even before I made to the "grassy" aromas, music, and crowds on a warm sunny Life after Layoff day in San Francisco.

Day Ninety-five: Exercising mind and body

Even though I am somewhat couch "potatoing" as I watch TV and write this entry, today has not been spent on the couch. I have also not had a need to nap, even after getting up before 5:00 AM. All it takes to do that is go to bed earlier and exercise. Excessive sleeping is a measure of how out of shape I've allowed myself to get.

Since using the NordicTrack Skier is supposed to go aerobic at twelve minutes, I set my timer for 13 minutes. Four minutes into it, I decided to stop at five minutes. I had a sweatshirt on and was sweating but what stopped me was that I didn't have endurance. The exercise, even as short as it was, did wake me up for my 8:00 AM Webinar and kept me energized for the entire day. I don't intend to use the NordicTrack every day but do plan on doing it tomorrow and the day after, well, every day until I need a break from it. Five minutes is not going to generate a need for a break. I will try it without the sweatshirt tomorrow.

Unfortunately, I also ate more. At least I stopped eating by 5:00 PM, with my last meal a Caspian Pink heirloom tomato sandwich.

I have shopped online and believe I have chosen an exercise mat and a step up block that will allow me to do my crunches a little more comfortably and sit for meditation, respectively, of which I still have not done the latter today but will before I go to bed, probably while sitting on the couch much as I am right now. I'm planning on doing it to start out morning and night for five minutes at a time as the book suggests. The exercise mat should also double as a yoga mat, should I decide to go that way.

I still don't know what meditation will bring me but just some of it supposed benefits are worth earnestly learning to meditate. I see it more as the first step on a different path of self-discovery. I will certainly pursue other activities, including this and other writing. I will even take the self assessment tests offered by the outplacement service. I'm also thinking about rejoining Toast Masters. (My last stint was over 20 years ago in Houston, Texas.) Improving my speaking capabilities will directly improve my Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund fundraising and may have other positive contributions to my personal wealth.

While there may be some real money limits in my Life after Layoff, the sky is limit for everything else. Every morning I rise, I have a profound sense that it is the first day of the rest of my life.

Day Ninety-four: Pajama day

I stayed in all day and also stayed in my pajamas all day. Well, since I do keep my furnace off, I also put on a sweat shirt. I don't intend to do this often but it felt right today. A pajama day every once in a while is a fine addition to my Life after Layoff.

This doesn't mean I didn't get anything done. In fact, I have begun the fixes to my new storage shed. The weight is now off the shelf and thus the pressure is no longer collapsing the wall. Now I need to figure out a way to reinforce it, whether or not I ever use the shelf again. I also set up my NordicTrack Skier in the corner of my living room. This gets it out of the closet and into a place that I can use it, which is the place that I would put my recliner, if I were to get it. (I did not use the NordicTrack today.) I did do my back exercises. Oh yes, I've started a "to do" list spreadsheet. The first project item I laid out was the preparation for my December road trip. Traveling 2,000+ miles away from home in a car for six or so weeks is not something I can do spontaneously. My departure date will be entirely controlled by my preparation.

I also did the final Entrepreneurial Webinar.

Then I watched the VP debate on CNN so I could see how the six analysts and 30 persuadable people in Columbus, Ohio scored the debate. I haven't heard whether any of my relatives in Columbus were part of this group.

Last night I started reading my Fasting Handbook, Dining from an Empty Bowl. (This was after my blog entry.) I think I will do more reading tonight. Today I've also read Opening to Meditation by Diana Lang. Both are relatively short books. I got them at the same time because I thought they might go together. My "to do" list spreadsheet doesn't yet include meditation but it will. The last chapter of this short meditation book is questions and answers. One question seemed to hit close to home, "What if I can't stop thinking?" I liked her answer. If it works for me, I'll include a paraphrase of it in some future entry.

My back exercises and the meditation book make me realize that I need some additional equipment. I need an exercise mat and a yoga bench, something that allows me to basically sit on the floor and somewhat cross my legs. Maybe it would double as a step up platform. My futon pads are too soft but I may have to try one of them unless I can find a place to shop tomorrow.

Since I've already brushed my teeth and am in my pajamas, I can go to bed early tonight. I used to be a morning person and would like to get back to being so. Staying up until morning isn't the same thing. It is also easier to get my exercising out of the way, even though I used to do it in the morning so it would have the least impact on my family.

Day Ninety-three: What to do with beer I won't drink?

Make more beer bread! It has a long baking time but quickly mixes up. In fact, I have to pre-heat the oven before I start to get it ready for the bread by the time I finish mixing. Unfortunately, like my artisan yeast bread, it tastes better while warm just out of the oven. So, I ate a lot of it then.

I didn't get out again today, this time literally. I did however get dressed to go out. I still have enough food, even without starting a Dining on an Empty Bowl fast. (Another thing I want to schedule.) I was impressed at the number of fasts described, starting with the Air fast. You guessed it, consuming nothing but air. I probably will start from the other end, well closer to the other end, a soup or juice fast. I wonder if I can do a fast between meals. I didn't today. What with fresh bread to eat and being around my kitchen all day...

I did two webinars today and read a portion of the guide that comes with the outplacement service. In the guide it said that I should plan to spend 40 to 50 hours a week finding a new Life after Layoff. It is making early retirement seem more attractive, but my large fixed costs make that more difficult.

But, it is now only Wednesday. I have two more days to go in this "work" week. First thing on my schedule tomorrow will be creating a schedule.