Day One-hundred-and-eighty-one: Not the Flu!

Now that I have a hopefully mild case of whatever has been going around, I have decided for the full experience. I'm in denial mode. It is either a case of food poisoning or a stomach virus unrelated to the flu.

I don't know when I actually contracted the thing, and hope it wasn't before I baked the two loaves of olive bread, but I certainly had it after our lunch at COSI. (I'm glad I practice good cooking hygiene with 20-second hand washings, approximately two verses of "Happy Birthday" to me. Washing that long and often is not good for chapped hands but it is healthier for anyone eating the food I make, which would make them gladder than me. I did notice that my sister-in-law and her husband gave my daughter and her husband the honor of the first slices.)

I've found the most effective way to minimize the symptoms is don't eat. Besides, whatever I had from COSI's is long gone. (Sorry for the too much information.) Maybe it was the poor football games we were watching that made me sick. In any regard, this is a more abrupt entry into the world of fasting than is recommended in my Dining from an Empty Bowl. At least I am sipping water with no apparent problem.

This is the first time I've been sick in my Life after Layoff. I'm still not sick of the life and suppose at some time I'll have to start calling it life after early retirement. Nah, there is no aliteration.

My youngest daughter and her husband flew in tonight with the final leg a less than an hour hop from Cincinnati's airport, which is in Kentucky. The leg from SFO to Cincinnati was 1st Class.

They brought me one present for my listening pleasure on my trip home, a four CD set of "Car Talk." They also brought pictures of a more substantial present: They moved the water supply and installed the new toilet in the master bedroom. My son-in-law is a master handiman. He had all the appropriate accessories, including the mandatory plumber's crack, at least according to one picture that may have been staged.

They also brought all of my received Christmas cards, including at least one from people that I didn't send anything to. I'm not including the one from some people I just didn't recognize, either by name or by their pictures. It was somewhat of a relief to see that their card wasn't meant for me but the previous residents. I don't know why I didn't think to check the sent to name earlier, after all, I was looking at the front of the envelope to get their name from the return address. I suppose it was my ego: of course they meant to send it to me!

Earlier today I made another entry in my Memories of Marilyn blog. I haven't made but a couple entries, so far in this entire trip. I have so many more to write and publish. It is a true labor of love.

Day One-hundred-and-seventy-seven: Christmas Eve

A lot of presents were opened this evening, just none of them were from me. I got three and probably will get more tomorrow. While I am very appreciative, this makes me feel guilty. Even as I feel guilty, I have to admire the thought that goes into the gifts. The ones I received were just right for me.

Today had some similarities with Monday, except this time I made only one loaf of olive bread and doubled the cupcakes. The olive bread was mostly gone in the get together. The gingerbread was sampled. The cupcakes were half gone. It turns out that several of my Columbus relatives are on gluten free diets. I'm sure more will be eaten tomorrow, gluten or not.

Today I had a frief conversation with Marilyn's sister about getting some of Marilyn's childhood documented. We talked a little bit about the pigs they used to draw on their correspondence and I asked how the "pigging" of each other started. She was uncertain but was quick to believe that Marilyn started it. It probably would come back to her if we could talk about it without tearing up.

She suggested a college friend of Marilyn's as a source for memories that were new to my children last January. I can tell that these "memories" aren't going to be written easily just by the "remembering" party, which becomes another thing I'd like to do in my Life after Layoff: Go on a Memories of Marilyn tour where I travel around and talk with Marilyn's friends and family taking notes so I can ghost write the memories for her grand children. (However, it isn't like my own memories are being written speedily.)

Since so many of the things I'm dreaming about doing involve travel and writing, I'm just going to have to find a way to make that possible.

Day One-hundred-and-thirty-three: Night storm

And by "night storm," I'm not referring to the weather.  I was laying in bed thinking after about five hours of sleep and had a couple ideas that I couldn't get out of my mind.  Since several people have advocated keeping a note pad by the bed for those ideas, and I hadn't, I thought that I should get up, find a note pad, and write them down.  In this manner I thought to purge my mind and be able to go back to sleep.

Well, either the purging didn't work or the process of finding everything and writing them down took so long that I was even more fully awake, I decided to throw on something warmer and do something productive, i.e., make this partial entry into this blog and catch up on my budget tracking.  The latter is boring enough that it may just put me back to sleep, which is one reason that I haven't done it for so long.  Unfortunately, there are others, including my lack of spending within my budget.  (I haven't really wanted to know how bad it was.)

But, if I want to make this early retirement work, I either need to find a reliable source of money that doesn't force me to un-retire, or spend far less.  Of the two, I know which one I'd prefer.

As for the ideas that kept me up:  starting another blog, documenting my memories (of me) for my grandchildren yet to be born as a complement to my Memories of Marilyn; and writing a Christmas Newsletter for the first time in my life.  The former I would title, "A walk on the wet side of the beach."  The latter would be in part to make up for my failure to send out thank you notes to all who truly did remember Marilyn and her family, offering us much needed solace.  It would also be a good way and reason to contact all of Marilyn's address book entries, some of whom may not have yet heard.

I must also admit that my thoughts were also churning on more mundane matters, for example, rerouting the water supply for the new toilet and wondering whether or not compression fittings could be "fit" onto the pipe regardless of how close it might be to the stud or whether I would need to "sweat" the extension on.  Then I rambled on to wondering whether or not I could even find my "sweating" tools or whether I still had them.  And finally, at least for what I'll report here, what kind of support I would need to arrange for the pipe and whether it would cause knocking or excessive wear.  Another example would be mentally reminding myself to buy my MacBook's extended warrantee along with a dozen other things for my to do list, including remaking a to do list for the items, some of which I've already forgotten.

I'd close and publish this post right now except for my dental appointment.  I think I'm going to have to stay away from blueberries.  There may be other sources but something is staining my teeth and I've avoided all of the other orally ingested items I considered possible sources.

It's a pretty sad commentary on my Life after Layoff when the anticipated two significant events in a day are not being able to sleep and a dental appointment.

After writing the above, possibly to avoid the tedium of entering my spending into my budget, I went back to bed for another two and one half hours.  This did kind of rush me through breakfast, getting cleaned up, and making it to the dentist on time.  But, the teeth cleaning was truly the best experience, for that activity, I've had in a long time.  I'd like to say that it was the meditation as I did try to relax through it but it more likely was the dental hygienist.  It may also have been my relatively little amount of plaque.  All is not good news.  The dentist wants me to come back this Friday to have a couple of fillings replaced.  Since I was thinking of not continuing my dental insurance, now is a good time to be taking care of these things.

As I paused while exiting the dental office parking lot, I had this strong urge to go somewhere, anywhere, but home.  Since I couldn't think of where that should be and had my budget still to do, I came on home--and proceeded to update this entry instead of doing my budget.  I'll get right on that.

I was almost done with my budget entries, including making a list of things to find so I could enter them as well, when I received a phone call.  It was a good call that got me up to date on the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund.  The head of the National Lymphedema Network has spent a considerable amount of her time on it.  She reported that a speech she gave to an audience in Albany, New York, may have solicited a good donation from a lymphedema sufferer who is also quite well off.  I hope so.  I really want that memorial to be sustained as a lasting memory.

Then I noticed that it was after 1:00 PM.  After I ate my lunch salad, I was still hungry.  So, I decided to make a loaf of beer bread, primarily because I could enjoy it today rather than waiting until tomorrow.  While it tasted good, especially with a honey topping, it didn't raise quite as much as previous loaves.  (Chunky not funky.)  I don't know whether it was my conversion of All Purpose flour with Baking Powder and Salt or my use of Spaten Pils as the beer.  I think European beers have less carbonation than standard U.S. beers.

I think I finally finished with my budget data entry.  It would be far less a chore if I did it more often, which would help me do it more often.  The size of the chore delays it.

Day One-hundred-and-twenty-two: The "word"

You'd think that picking a word for my Toastmasters meeting today would be easy for someone who used to read a dictionary for fun. In fact, I have received more than one dictionary as gifts. When I was much younger and reading a good bit of Shakespeare, I was always impressed by what I was told about him more than his actual writing, although I still enjoy his comedies. He is supposedly holds the record for an individual adding the most words to the English language. Since that time, I've always wanted to add words to the English language. Unfortunately, whenever I try to be like Shakespeare, I sound more like Bush.

Besides, individual additions to English aren't generally successful. Instead we are more likely to see cross cultural slang make it as new words. It's not my intention to "dis" any culture with this example. Besides, the oral start of these language extensions make it impossible to trace back to their individual origins.

I finally decided on vacillate. It seemed to be the most appropriate word to depict my lack of decision process to actually pick a word.

By the time I got up this morning, finished my exercises, went into the kitchen to fix breakfast, and cleaned up the kitchen so I could fix a hot breakfast, it was 10:30. So I had a grapefruit and some soy yogurt for breakfast. Then I got cleaned up and went out to get some Beano so I could eat lunch.

After my shower this morning, I noticed that I am still "squeegeeing" the shower walls. This was another of Marilyn's bathroom rules and is already one of my yet to be written topics for my Memories of Marilyn blog. I remember that one of my traveling pleasures was staying in hotels, and not having to scrape the water off the walls. Now that I could literally indulge in that pleasure every day, I am still doing so. It allows me to drip dry a little bit while I'm taking care of the walls and may really reduce hard water spotting. I certainly don't know what cleaner to use on the cultured marble in the shower I use most often. Well, there are still some days where I am too rushed to "squeegee," but they are very few in my Life after Layoff.

The wind has been blowing rather strongly all day. Under the willow tree it positively looks fall with all the leaves on the ground. Maybe my meditation is working. I look at those leaves now and see beauty where before I probably would have seen work. It's supposed to rain tonight and even more strongly Saturday night. I'll still need to water some plants tomorrow. I also needed to clean out the rain gutters but will not be doing so before this rain.

After the election, I've decided that I'm going to cancel my cable. This means that I will not have TV service, except for rented DVDs. Not only have they increased the cable cost, I'm watching far too much of it. Besides, I'll be gone for at least six weeks. I've gone without TV before, although it was years ago. Then I had a lot of company and didn't miss it at all. Now I may miss it but have too many other things I want to do to let it continue to control my Life after Layoff.

Day One-hundred-and-nineteen: Running on empty

I like multiple meaning titles. The direct reference is to my Prius being on its last fuel gauge bar for the last week, but then I've only used it to drive locally, including going to Safeway twice today. The indirect reference is, at least today, not having a lot to write about. Oh well, a short entry every once in a while may not be such a bad thing. The only real problem is that it gives me fewer chances to weave in my tag line of Life after Layoff, at least more cleverly.

Yesterday I bought some Indian eggplant and used it to make some Gerson Ratatouille this morning. It was good to have some hot food, but I found out that Indian eggplant has a skin between the Japanese/Chinese eggplant and the more traditional eggplant. Now the traditional eggplant I know to peel before I cook it. I now know the same about Indian eggplant, but I ate it tough skin and all. Better, I just won't buy Indian eggplant again.

I also made some Food for Life gingerbread that tasted so good I ended up eating about half of it. This batch was too moist both because I used a measuring cup that didn't have a 1 3/4 cup line so I approximated. Then I probably undercooked it. Undercooking a cake-like food that doesn't have any fat or egg isn't dangerous, it could be messy though. It was cooked enough that the whole wheat pastry flour was done. I obviously liked it.

In case this blog has other readers than my direct family, I copying an email I wrote yesterday about things that have been occurring after I normally write my daily entry.

I've transferred my meditation guides to my iPod. This has given me new possibilities and I've been taking advantage of them. Tonight and Friday night I sat in the sky chair in the dark, well, as dark as it gets in a town. (Back in a canyon in Pacifica, it is darker than it ever got on a Fremont cul-de-sac but we never set up the sky chairs in Fremont.)

Last night it got so late, I did it directly in bed. It probably helped me sleep better.

But the reason I was inspired to write this email this late was the two very different night time sky chair meditations. Friday night the sky was very clear and I could see stars through the branches of the willow tree. It was meditative just to watch them. The only problem was that I left just one house light on. It wasn't distracting enough to get up and turn it off but I learned my lesson.

Tonight the fog had rolled in but with the street lights on Ranier, the "back of the" house lights on Glacier it was still quite bright even though I did turn off all the lights in my house. This meant that I wasn't stumbling around in the dark. When I finally came in, which has consistently been after about 50 minutes, I noticed how bright my supposedly dark house was. It is amazing how many LEDs I have telling me the time, telling me the temperature of the wine. I suppose all of the AC adaptors' lights are LEDs as well. Then there is my modem and router. I don't have any need for the night lights that I no longer have plugged in, even on moonless nights like this one appears to be.

At the end of my meditating, if that is really what it can be called, I thought of another series of topics for my Memories of Marilyn: "Company trips and trips on companies." We really did get a lot of travel in. I can't begin to imagine what we would be doing now. I'm falling behind in my travel.

Day One-hundred-and-sixteen: Too much the same

Stay up too late; rest all day. Do the same thing; write the same entries. I've gotten myself in a rut. So, today I'm going to be writing more about my thoughts than my activities.

For example: As I was finally doing the dishes, because I went to make lunch and didn't have anything to cook in, I was noticing that it was amazing that I don't cut my fingers more from the way I do dishes. I normally load the bottom of the pan with all the utensils I'm going to wash, which includes all the knives. Since I use a Scotch-Brite Dobie, a sponge with a nylon net covering, to wash dishes, it creates a lot of suds. (Maybe I'm using too much soap. Oh well, as frequently as I wash dishes it shouldn't matter.) So, I proceeded to fish out the utensils, including several knives, once again without receiving a cut.

Then there was the rotary washing brush without the rotary washer to attach it to. (This will probably show up in a Memories of Marilyn topic at some point as well.) Ever since our Houston house, which had a rotary washer/sprayer, we have had a continuous supply of the brushes. I don't think Marilyn ever used the washer/sprayer, but she regularly used the brush, with her hand. We have had to buy replacement brushes over the years, the latest being a set of two when we moved to Pacifica, but they seem to last such a long time that unless I can't find the other one I should never have to buy another one. Now, I use it as well for things like garlic presses, the screens on my strainers, which also double as my flour sifters, and any rim or ridge that looks like there is something in a valley that my sponge can't get.

Arrgh! I have "flat surface syndrome." This condition was always disguised because Marilyn always got to the flat surfaces first, frequently infringing on my own. I can't begin to remember the number of times she would tell me to clean off the top of my dresser and when I did, fully half the stuff would be stuff that she had put there. Now I look around and I see far too many furniture tops, my dining table, sofa table, library bench, ..., with far too much stuff on them, mostly some form of paper. In addition to discipline, I need to get neater in my Life after Layoff.

And finally, I can't wait until November 5th. I admit to an election addiction. I bring up websites on my computer, cable news on my TV and look for something new, which comments on the blogs frequently are. Some postings get so many comments I can't read them all, they are added to faster than I can read them. Of course, much of the reading is worthless anyway as it is not political discourse but profanity laced hate. I don't read those once I recognize them for what they are, just as, if I am around the remote rather than just listening to the TV from some other place in the house, I switch channels when a strident idiot comes on one of the programs.

Day One hundred and one: A "happening" day

Maybe it was because of the quiet Life after Layoff I've been leading but I now have joined a local Toastmasters Club. Even though I have talked a little bit on the phone for the webinars that I've been taking, primarily to answer the roll call, I've been trending to more silence. In fact, tonight was the first day since last Sunday that I've made it out of the house.

I also got my Absentee Ballot today. I immediately sat down, filled it in, and mailed it on my way to the Toastmasters meeting.

I see Toastmasters as a way to develop and practice my speech crafting much like this blog is writing practice. I'm hoping I'm using this practice already as I have started my Memories of Marilyn blog. I'm not sure when I will use the speaking practice, or really when I'll even get it. This club has two speakers a meeting. I don't know how many members they have but that could mean as few speaking times as once a month.

Now I'm not sure that my speaking ability will improve as much as would be ideal, since I decided to start from the beginning again. However, my secondary objective, perhaps even the primary objective is to meet fellow Pacificans. What with work and Marilyn's illness, I know very few people. Besides, "relationships" is one of my weak areas for a successful retirement. (It is probably a weakness for finding another job, if I were to do so, as well. Networking is big and I'm not a big networker.) Maybe this is why I'm interested in enhancing my writing skills.

After Toastmasters I went grocery shopping. Here it is only October 9th and I'm well on my way to being well over my monthly food budget. I really don't know what my budget should be but know I could spend less. At some point I will have to, not because I've run out of money, although that may also occur, but because I'll run out of room in my house and around my waist.

Day Eighty-eight: Virtual outplacement in a virtual world

My company bought a good package for me, including a personal consultant, who I am to see Monday. Most of the outplacement services are virtual: webinars, research, email, resume' preparation, ... Several of these services can continue for me even after the contracted for time period. What's even better, they have both an "entrepreneurial" and a "retirement" series. Of course, I just bought my own copy of a book my daughter loaned me: Work Less, Live More (The Way to Semi-Retirement).

In addition, my business plans, writing plans, even my living plans, but more than anything else, my travel plans don't really support working at a job in my Life after Layoff.

Aside from the time I've been eating and on the Internet, I've been watching TV. Eating today consisted of two meals of tomato sandwiches, breakfast and dinner, and a salad and potatoes for lunch. (The nice thing about tomato sandwiches is that they don't require any cooking. Even the potatoes were leftovers I microwaved.) But I couldn't miss the debate, not that I particularly enjoyed it.

Well, I did do a couple other things. I've started establishing my daily and weekly schedule, which doesn't have time for work. There are a lot of items that are simply maintenance: exercise and food for body maintenance, cleaning for house and car maintenance, yard maintenance, and blogging for mental maintenance. Then there are the projects that I want to make progress on. For example, I have a lot of house projects, including a new toilet for the master bathroom sitting in the garage. Some of my other "projects" may be more on the order of wishes but at least I want to pursue some of them to see if they can be more.

In a slightly different take on my "projects," I want to share the horoscope I read for me today: "It's just your luck that the project you were least interested in winds up becoming your meal ticket. Feast is better than famine."

One project that will continue to take my time is finding more and more ways to fund the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. I am working on a posting I can carry with me across the country as I travel back east to visit family for the holidays. Part of this project is my new blog Memories of Marilyn.

The most important item in all of my planning is fun and I intend to have a lot of it.

Day Eighty-five: A day of many happenings

But not much activity. I did vacuum, water and make my bed. I got cleaned up and made phone calls. The phone calls are the cause of some of the many happenings. I also baked another batch of my vegan chocolate cupcakes, this time in true cupcake form. I also went out and mailed a package and bought some heirloom tomatoes. (They cost more but are worth it. I actually eat the heirloom ones. I won't even buy the cardboard tasting ones for cooking. I'll use canned tomatoes first.)

One of my phone calls was to the Daly City Honda Dealership so I could take my motorcycle in for servicing. When they said I could bring the bike in today and pick it up by evening I quickly asked if there was a better time tomorrow. So, I have an appointment right at 9:00 AM for about an hour and a half. I'll just hang around or go walking in Daly City for the duration.

Another phone call set up an out placement appointment, a service offered to me because of my Life after Layoff status. I'm hoping they offer a business startup path rather than just resume writing and interviewing practice. If that is all they have, I will see if I can't use those offerings in making my own business path. A good curriculum vitae is undoubtedly required for venture capital investment.

I also made my first entry in my Memories of Marilyn blog. I don't plan on making an entry every day but will regularly. I wasn't trying for any special significance to this first "memory" but not only was it nine months exactly since her passing but the actual entry approximated her time of death. Even though the memories are positive and a joy, it has still been an emotional day.

One last thing. I have kept my politics out of this blog and in the past have often voted libertarian or green because I didn't see much difference between the two major party candidates. This hasn't made much difference in decidedly liberal California but this year there is one candidate I can vote for rather than against. Again though, my vote will not make much difference in California. As a result, I am going to use the freedom that this particular time in my Life after Layoff affords me to become involved in the campaign to elect Obama.

When I had a job I donated to both McCain (and Obama) because I thought both of them were the best their parties had to offer. The more I learned of Obama, the more I favored him. The more I learned about the 2008 McCain, vs. the 2000 McCain who I thought I was donating to, the more I regretted the donation. Now that I can no longer donate money, I have signed up for a stint on the phones for the Obama campaign, hence the cupcakes. I have applied for a greater role but will not be upset if I am not selected for it. (I have many other things to do.) I am still registered as an independent and will remain so. I do not expect my small assistance to result in a political appointment regardless of my Life after Layoff status but I do expect Obama to win. Besides, I have other goals and if a political appointment is anything like the one political science class I took in college, it would be sooooo boring.