Day Seventy-one: Cooking, mowing, and misc.

My son and soon to be daughter-in-law have left for Sacramento. I have an appointment to get my Prius serviced. I canceled my daughter's phone number without there being any additional cancelation fee. (I confirmed with her that she did not, in fact get a new phone.) I baked bread, chocolate cupcakes, and fixed my Gerson Ratatouille. (See recipe at the bottom of this post.) We ate at Cafe Gratitude for lunch, since they will not be able to join us after the wedding.

My son started his motorcycle, and mine. He then rode my bike to take back some shorts he bought at Nordstrom Rack. They cost 2/3 of the original price rather than the 1/3 the rest of the prices were. So, by taking them back he was able to get jeans, his fiancee a shirt, and some money back. He couldn't ride his. It doesn't have a current registration or insurance. As much as he likes New York, I think he is quite willing to return to his motorcycle. I did find out that he has received two tickets for speeding with one being so fast that he did not qualify for Traffic School. Maybe this 2 and 1/2 year stay in New York City is good for his driving record.

While the bread was baking, I mowed my dead yard. Even though it doesn't look green, it looks better. The deer are still enjoying one kind of my plants in the front yard. I have yet to get the Liquid Fence.

The TV that was in my room is now in the guest bedroom. I had a much better morning without a working TV in my bedroom this morning. But, with the TV in my Living Room, I don't know how much stereo listening I will do. Maybe it will pick up when I get my iPod and my TV to stereo connectivity established.

Tomorrow I have a long cleaning list. I've found that there is always more to do in my Life after Layoff.

"Gerson" Ratatouille: I started making this for Marilyn when she was able to do the Gerson Therapy to address her cancer. (I truly don't know what the therapy would have done for her cancer but certainly her health all except for the cancer was the best it had been in years.) The Gerson diet is largely no salt added vegan. This left us trying to find tasty ways to prepare vegetables and have a variety. The "Gerson" Ratatouille was just that kind of vegetable.

One medium/large yellow onion cut in one to one and one half inch length chunks.
Four to five garlic cloves, crushed.
One medium to large eggplant, peeled and diced into about one inch squares.
One can of diced tomatoes or three medium/large heirloom tomatoes, diced.

Cook on low until eggplant is done. If you put the onions on the bottom, you can turn the fire on low without burning anything. I've cooked green beans with that layer of onion without needing to add water. In this case, however, the tomatoes also supply a lot of moisture.

Day Thirty-seven: Celebrating 60

When I got up this morning, I sang "Happy Birthday" to my wife who would have turned 60 on this day. My plans were to have a quiet day of reflection and remembrance, hiking to her favorite Pacifica spot in the morning and doing something else in the afternoon. I cried when I sang "Happy Birthday;" I cried when I IM'd my son; I cried when I talked with my oldest daughter; I cried when I talked with my youngest daughter; and I cried when she got here. My eyes are even tearing up as I write this.

[Picture taken at King's Canyon in June of 2005, when she had cancer but before it was diagnosed.]

Yes, I still miss her, even painfully so, but a lot of the tears were due to more pleasant memories, all of which are bittersweet.

My daughter and I did hike to where the Portola Expedition discovered the San Francisco Bay, starting at 1:00 PM. We also stopped into a furniture store that Marilyn really liked, and had taken me there to look at stressless recliners, which is why we went there today, to look at them for me. (I've needed a new recliner ever since my old "Blue" was taken to the dump.) After we got back to the house, we each had one of the vegan chocolate cupcakes that I had made, with a commemorative birthday candle. We then went to Greens, Marilyn's favorite San Francisco restaurant. Greens was, and may still be, associated with a Zen Buddhist farm in Marin. It is completely vegetarian, with some vegan options. We went there a couple times when she was still on the Gerson Therapy as they allowed her to bring in her Gerson food since it was very much vegetarian. (If the lymphedema hadn't effectively halted this therapy, I believe she would have lived.)

I remember back before this recent round of cancer, I was planning on having a big blowout embarrassing birthday party for her on her 60th. I had kept from doing this at earlier milestones because, since I was slightly younger than her, she would have been able to obtain her revenge. I figured that at 60 I was myself to old to care and everyone should have at least one embarrassing birthday. I guess change is the essence of life, even Life after Layoff.

Marilyn, you are still loved. I just wish you could be here to share my freedom. We would be traveling this whole year, but somehow traveling by myself just doesn't have the appeal. Even driving around here I find myself thinking: "Marilyn would have loved that;" or "I'd like to tell Marilyn about this."