Day One-hundred-and-forty-six: Better than To Do lists

As I sit here printing the last half, literally, of my Christmas letter, I thought I would start this day's entry.  I've decided that if I truly want to get on the road in the morning of the day after Thanksgiving, I need to go one step beyond a "to do" list.  I need a schedule.  Of course, what I need and what I'll actually do are vastly different things.  But because I haven't been working diligently every day, I am going to have to be ruthless in what I leave undone, do more stuff on the road trip, and still be more disciplined in my remaining four and one half days before I head out.

I also need a packing list, or at least someplace that I can stack all of the things I want to take.  I'm thinking of new things all the time and have not yet made a note of them or put them anyplace special.  I'll start doing that today and hope that it is soon enough.

I drove the truck to a "touchless" car wash but with all the vehicles already there, I decided to go back home to wash it.  On the way I stopped at a hardware store to buy a hose attachment to wash it.  I should have saved my money.  Not only did it not take off any of the wedding paint, it sprayed me about as much as the truck.  By using an old Dobie, I was able to scrub the paint off of the glass, smooth plastic, and painted body.  I wasn't able to take it off soft rubber or pebbly plastic.  While I was at the hardware store, I was ask about my recent marriage.

I finally found the secret to eating less, stay active.  I was less hungry and ate less of the food that is bad for me with all my outdoor activity.  This might be why most people put on weight during the winter months; it is more difficult to stay active.  (I really don't have that excuse in California.)  I'm still learning in my Life after Layoff.  

Since tomorrow is also the every other week green waste pickup, I not only swept up the driveway gutter before I washed the truck, I swept the back and side walks.  I filled the thing.

It was so nice out, rather than continue working, I went out and sat in the sky chair.

Then later, after dark I started on signing my Christmas Letters.  All in all, a relatively productive day.

Day One-hundred-and-forty-five: Running out of time

Since I am "running out of time," I did what I normally do in those situations, I procrastinate. This means that I watched a lot of football rather than get any of my real work done. I was so lazy today that I had to turn on the furnace to compensate for my lack of activity.

Not that I only watched TV but the amount I watched didn't allow me to make a lot of progress. I did get a too wordy draft of a flyer I hope to post on my Den of Inequities tour. As substantially the only thing I got partly done today, I should post it. I did already send it by email to a few of my regular readers. Actually, by using my "family" distribution list, it may have made it to more readers than posting it here would show it to. Ah, obscurity in my Life after Layoff.

By posting it here, I'm doing something I have avoided thus far, directly posting my name. It wouldn't have been all that difficult for anyone to figure it out as several of my posted links show my name, but this is yet another line erosion. But even posting my name doesn't mean that I will be posting other peoples' names, even as my relationship descriptions get a little awkward at times. (I haven't had anyone who might be reading this tell me to go ahead and use their name.)

And now for the flyer draft:

As if cancer patients didn’t have enough to deal with, many cancers and cancer treatments cause chronic lymphedema. Many people, including some in the medical profession will tell you that there is no effective treatment. But, THERE IS!

The swelling of lymphedema can also be life threatening due to increased susceptibility to infections. However, it most often causes severe mobility issues as swelling around joints restrict their motion or the mass of the fluid that builds up cannot be easily moved with overstrained muscles. Then there is the reduced circulation that can cause other problems and pain, which is a problem on its own.

The most effective treatment, in conjunction manual lymph drainage massage therapy, is garments specifically designed for treating lymphedema and custom fitted for the sufferer. Unfortunately as many states do not recognize these garments as medical devices, many insurance companies do not cover them.

As a memorial to Marilyn Westbrook, who passed away from cancer December 23, 2007, the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund has been established. She also suffered from lymphedema as a byproduct of her cancer. It was so bad in her left leg that she had become bedridden. The day after she got her garment from Don Kellogg of Telesto Medtech, (Visit http://www.telesto-medtech.com/ for more specific information about their garments.); she was back up and moving around the house. What’s even better, she was able to participate in her daughter’s wedding. Read more about this story at http://www.lymphnet.org/patients/westbrookFund.htm.

The National Lymphedema Network, a 501(c)(3) organization http://www.lymphnet.org/, was established to educate the medical profession and patients that there were treatment options on dealing with lymphedema. It has expanded its charter to help provide garments to people suffering from lymphedema who could not otherwise afford them.

If the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund had to subsist on my money alone, the “memory” would be far too short and the help far too little. Please join me in relieving the suffering of others by donating to the fund. Help give the gift of “living” to those who need to make every moment count. Even those who are cured of their cancer cannot truly live, if they have been left with the debilitating effects of lymphedema.

Thank you,


Doyle Westbrook
Loving husband of Marilyn Westbrook
P.S. Read about Marilyn’s life as it is being written for the grandchildren she will never know at http://memories-of-marilyn.blogspot.com/.

Day One-hundred-and-forty-four: The Dependable Mail

Two days ago, Wednesday, I thought it was interesting but not significant when I recycled all my mail before I made it back into the house. Then yesterday, Thursday, I didn't get any at all. Now, I must admit that I don't really wish for much of the mail I do get, but ever since I listened to The Secret, I have been expecting checks. Now the time that each day's mail is delivered can vary so I didn't think it was significant that it wasn't there when I check throughout the afternoon. When I checked at 10:40 PM, I finally had to concede that I wasn't getting any. (I don't want to ruin a good story but I actually go into the garage for other purposes and check while I'm out there. Finding all those separate reasons to go into the garage could be quite taxing if I didn't recycle so much.) I didn't check until 6:30 PM today. There was mail but no checks.

I mixed up a batch of Almost No Knead Bread last night. Before I could bake it, I had to clean the kitchen. I probably would have done the cleaning anyway but it did require getting on it early so I could have the bread for lunch, a late lunch. While I thought about eating it all, I restrained myself. Besides, after the Spicy Mole Oatmeal Chili and the Mango Black Bean Salad, I was so full I could only eat one slice. It made a great dessert with honey on it. Even though I have some more Earth Balance spread, I forbore to applying it.

I learned today that my brother-in-law was laid off today. There's a lot of this going around. Unlike me with my empty nest, he still has all of his children at home, with one heading off to college next year and the other soon to follow. With the crashing stock market and the burgeoning unemployment, my Life after Layoff is not as stress free as I would have liked, but I remember back to early 1994 when I had much the same situation. I was really stressed then.

I don't know whether or not it was this by way of this blog or not, but I have received emails from others who are out of work with families. I can't get my mind off of the old joke: "Recession is when you are out of a job. Depression is when I'm out of a job." The I's have it. Too many people are in a depression. My savings is down over 40% from its high, including the thousands I put into it over the years from its high to now. I should be able to continue my freedom through next year but without some recovery, I will need more income than I had hoped after that.

I don't know how long my trip back for my visiting, particularly now that I have some work to do on that end of it, but I had thought to make stops at casinos along the way and call it my "Den of Inequities" tour. I'm willing to share my winnings, particularly since I had some visitors who left grubstakes. It can't add that much time and may help me win as I will quit while I'm ahead more easily to get on the road and avoid long losing streaks to get back on the road.

I started printing my Christmas letter but stopped less than but almost half way through. I knew I couldn't just load the printer and have it print so after printing the first one, I tried printing five. The first page/side printed fine so I restocked them to print the second page/back side. Those didn't feed correctly, ruining three of my Christmasy bordered sheets. So I printed a bunch more of side one and printed the back side individually. Then I doubled the number I was printing for side one, except I put them in the wrong way and printed three with the first page on the back. After I corrected my error, while printing the rest of the first page batch, there was a misfeed. In short, including my draft sample, I've messed up eight of my 100 sheets and it is taking far longer than I thought it would. Only two aren't useable, as in illegible, so if I absolutely need to, my family will be getting less than perfect Christmas letters. Since I wrote it, it is pretty well guaranteed that all others will as well, but some of them will look better.

I just wish I could find her other address book.

Day One-hundred-and-forty-three: Speaking again

Late last night in the fog, I spent an extra amount of time in the sky chair. As it was in the forties, I needed to dress warmly but it was really quite pleasant. Even the noticeable and frequent jet engine sounds were not a problem. I did miss the animal antics and sounds but any time and every time out there seems relaxing.

Just before my late night outdoor experience, I had talked with the founder of Telesto Medtech, the person who supplied Marilyn's quite effective lymphedema garment. He was telling me that he was supplying a set of garments for a person's feet who heard about this possibility from the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund and may be getting support from the fund. I know that his garments work. It is so great that Marilyn is having such a beneficial impact well beyond her life. I couldn't ask for a better memorial. If this is the only accomplishment in my life, particularly my Life after Layoff, it is all worth it.

Today I called and canceled my land line. I've already unplugged the three charging stations and disconnected the base station from the jack. Now I will need to remember where all I have signed up for things using that number, like Staples, or simply remember the number. I will need to tell Toastmasters at tonight's meeting. Other than Toastmasters and my children, most of the calls were nuisance calls, including yet another survey yesterday. (I thought they were all done with the election being over.)

Tonight's my speech night at Toastmasters. Rather than stay up later tonight posting it, I decided I would once again post it early, already getting double duty out of it. At my normal reading speed it is just a shade too short. So I will have to make sure I speak slowly and distinctly. Here it is:

I had planned on taking my recently received Toastmaster packet with me on my six-week road trip and mapping out all of my remaining nine speeches. Then this opportunity occurred. I was at a loss. What would I speak on?

Fortunately, last Friday, as I was doing the crossword puzzle, no longer simply because I like doing them but because they are supposed to help fight Alzheimer’s, it hit me. Right there was my topic: 29 Down: “Firm belief,” and the answer was “FAITH.”

My brain went from zero to 60 in nothing flat. From nothing to speak on, I now had too much, even without research. I don’t know which is worse. I’ve decided to speak to the framework that I’ve created for future research, and perhaps other speech topics. [You might say this speech has been edited for time and sensibility, well maybe not sensibility.]

Let me be very clear. This speech is not about religion although most religions are all about belief. My framework is simply a way for me to think about belief. To this end, I now “believe” that belief is manifested in four different ways, which may be levels of increasing belief. After introducing my names for them, I will further define each one. My names are:

• Belief in Faith Facts,
• Trust, or belief in others,
• Internal manifestation of belief, and
• External manifestation of belief.

Belief in “Faith Facts” has to be the most common. I see it as simply the unquestioning acceptance of assumptions, premises, or tenets as if they were fact. Even the acceptance of scientific results without an understanding of the science involved is a matter of belief and thus a “Faith Fact” for the believer.

In such an interdependent world “Trust” should also be common. But I attribute most of this interdependency to a form of “Faith Facts,” if a belief at all and not despondency. We “believe” labels until we know them to be untrue. How many people buy pet food they now know originated in China? Unfortunately, our trust in others is undermined from childhood as we are taught to be fearful of strangers. I myself have teased my youngest daughter about being gullible. Now I realize that doing so just undermines her trust in me. It is something special for someone to have that level of trust. More, it is a fundamental wrong in our society when our first reactions have to be suspicious to protect ourselves from being taken advantage of.
[In a related aside: It was coincidence, but just after I selected this topic I happened to be walking by a bakery. The bread smelled so good, I had to go in. I read the ingredients listed on a loaf of whole wheat bread and was glad to see that it was egg and dairy free. But then I asked. It turned out that it did contain dairy. I don’t know whether my trust was improved by the clerk’s honesty or my belief in labels was undermined.]

When I think of “internally manifested” belief, I think of mind over body. According to recent news reports, some doctors are giving out placebos as much 70% of the time. In fact, the belief that a sugar pill can cure is so powerful that it has a name, the placebo effect. I believe that it goes both ways. Could not the poor results for some drugs that have proven effective in rats and other lab studies be due to the belief that the drug won’t work?

What is left is the category I’ve labeled as “external manifestation” but may be more correctly named “beyond belief.” If internal is mind over body, then external is mind over environment, where the results are a noticeable change for which the only explanation is belief. I'm not sure into which category visible healing should fall. There is a quite common saying that cynics have for this category, “I’ll believe it when I see it.” With all the movie special effects, even that may no longer make it believable.

I’ve briefly defined each of the stages or categories in my characterization of belief: Faith Facts, Trust, Internal and External.

In closing, I want to leave you with this thought:

Can belief be developed, grown from little or nothing? (In asking this question, I’m excluding a religious conversion experience.) As a natural cynic who should have been born in Missouri, I certainly hope so. I’m working on trust now.

Day One-hundred-and-forty-two: Down to a precious few

I'm not going to start trying to rhyme my entry titles, although I was pleased to realize that this one did rhyme. (Although it doesn't scan.)

Today also seemed more productive, more like Monday. While I did add a few things that I should do before I leave, I can't do most of them until next week. And "should" is a long way from "must." Of the things that truly must be done, I have only two or three on my current list that can even be done this week. One of them is print my Christmas Letter. I'm going to have to print them in small batches to make sure I don't run out of ink part way through a longer batch and ruin too many. In fact, since I need to sign them, I will be definitely be printing them no later than Friday. Right now I have 91 addresses. I may hand write one as my mailing labels come 30 to a sheet.

I tried an afternoon soy latte again but I don't think it will keep me awake tonight. I have an early day tomorrow and have to be out of here by 9:00 AM. (My early days in my Life after Layoff are nothing like my early days when I was "working for a living.") It's nice to not have to get up by an alarm clock even on my "early days."

I had a decent talk with the person who made Marilyn's last days "living" ones, allowed her to attend her daughter's wedding. He was telling me about a lymphedema sufferer that he was able to help because the patient's therapist learned of him through the Marilyn Westbrook Garment Fund. It is great that there are tangible results and that Marilyn can have this impact, touching even more lives. The founder of the National Lymphedema Network and host of the fund tells me that testimonials, from some of the people who have been helped, are going to be posted on the NLN site soon.

I think when I get back, I will need to do a picture retrospective of all the times that I took a picture of Marilyn's hand. It wasn't nearly as many times as I could have because even I gave up after a while. What I regret most is all of the pictures that I now don't have of her hand and the other pictures I then didn't take.

Day One-hundred-and-forty-one: No real progress

I'd say that I don't know where the day went, but I do. I went out to mail a couple things, including the reviews I completed over the weekend and didn't want to go back to my house. So I did what any other good person with time on their hands might do, I went shopping. I hoped to get two things but Bed Bath and Beyond only had one of them. One of several people at the store who ask if they could help me, suggested that I could order what I was looking for online. I declined because that was something I could do at home and I didn't want to be at home. After Bed Bath and Beyond, I almost headed home but noticed a Barnes and Noble bookstore.

Bookstores are more my kind of shopping anyway. After browsing through a number of sections, I did finally find something to buy. Shopping without buying is not fun, but it would have killed about the same amount of time. I'd say that procrastinating is my way of Life after Layoff, but I'm sure I've already used that tag line. If I were more organized in my Life after Layoff, I would have a separate searchable record that I could use to make sure that each entry has a different use of my Life after Layoff tag. (Now I'm sure that there is one somewhat unique use in this paragraph. It is getting harder.)

I'm still waiting on a few confirmations of addresses so I can send out my first and potentially last Christmas Newsletter. I need to get started because I do have to sign them at least. I'm hoping I don't have more than 99 to send unless I have plenty of time to buy more of the same paper and envelopes. Right now I'm exactly on ninety. Since I was using my wife's address book, there may be some aliases and old addresses. I also checked out MyFamily.com. Not only did I not recognize all the names of my cousins, some of the names I recognized had addresses that I knew to be wrong. That site still has my oldest sister still living with my parents, which for readers that don't know the whole story isn't quite like it reads. For a time after her house burned down she stayed with her parents. Obviously this time covered when this address was entered. Besides, it was their old P.O. Box address, not their new number and road address.

I just had a horrible thought. She didn't have all her addresses in the address book I used. I don't even know where the other book is, nor where the lists she used may be. As I won't be home, I won't even get to see who I've inadvertently left off by seeing who sends me cards. Maybe I will have to write another Christmas Letter, a belated one for mailing the end of January. Maybe there should be a tie in to 1099's and W2's because that is when people really need a pick up that the spirit of Christmas can bring. That is the time they realize how little they made in the previous year or realize just how much the government is taking of it.

I've had about five meals today. More, smaller meals are supposed to be better for you but I'm a gradualist. I'm working on half of it at a time. The first half, "more," is the baby step. I'll work on smaller a meal at a time. At least it was all good food.

I think I'm done here, at least for today. I only have a few more things I can do this week. Unfortunately they are lengthy time consuming things. Next Wednesday and Thursday will be especially busy as I will need to cook and clean before I can leave.

Day One-hundred-and-forty: Productive Mondays

Wow! I'd be impressed with myself if I hadn't so many other things still undone and less than ten days to do them in. Of course my actual leave date is an arbitrary one but I don't want to waste any of it doing what has become work. Writing this blog is actually a break. While I hate to be practicing on the few readers that may be regularly viewing this blog, and I do get a few emails that reference reading it, it is good practice and hopefully will pay off in other writing, including future entries here.

Once I charge my camera batteries, I may even start including pictures.

Reviews are done. Christmas Letter is in a final draft and with a sample printed on the Christmasy paper. The mailing labels for the addresses I have are typed with the label sheets purchased and ready to be printed. The Christmasy envelopes are ready to be stuffed. My paper is suspended for the time I plan on being gone. My second speech to Toastmasters is written and printed.

Slowly I am checking off more things on my to do list than I am adding and getting the things done that are the least fun and absolutely must be done before I leave.

Today started out great. When I went out to bring in the trash can and recycling bins, there was an unexpected newspaper. Since I don't think my neighbor has started receiving a paper, he certainly didn't get any over the weekend, I assumed it was a bonus for me. So, after I finished up my brownies for breakfast, I took the puzzles and went to the Chat Cafe for a soy latte. Since having a latte in the afternoon proved to be so wakeful through the night, I just had to see if an earlier one has the same effect. I'm not tired yet but it's only 8:30 PM. It may be my excitement at all I've accomplished today. (Ha, ha.) Still, it was a nice morning.

As I was leaving the Chat Cafe, I ran into my CPA. I hope he was right about my tax liability earlier in the year. I will need a good refund to do all I want to do next year.

I have an errand to run and meditation. Hopefully after all of that, I will be able to sleep, but it isn't like I have to get up at a certain time tomorrow. After all, I can still sleep in most days in this Life after Layoff.